HSC-style question
You have been invited to write an article for a teenage magazine called Youth and Belonging.
In your article, analyse the ways in which belonging is represented in the texts you have studied.
Texts: The Joy Luck Club by Amy Tan and 'Welcome Stranger' by Stephanie Dowrick
Introduction
A powerful sense of belonging is closely tied to the way in which people see themselves in their society. This is particularly the case for youth of today. ‘Youth and Belonging’ investigates how young people learn to belong in families and peer groups from their parents and the community they live in and the society they are a part of. The magazine considers how the relationships young people form with adults becomes important for their development of self esteem, self confidence and self awareness. The impact on youth of migration and mother daughter relationships in cross-cultural families is explored in Amy Tan’s ‘The Joy Luck Club’. Stephanie Dowrick’s opinion piece from the Good Weekend titled ‘Welcome Stranger’, argues that teaching our children to value ‘including’ others develops a sense of well being and strength of character.
First body paragraph
Topic sentence
As portrayed in the beginning of ‘Voices from the Wall’, Lena’s imagination as a young girl affects her perception of the world and her culture, preventing her from connecting with her Chinese heritage.
Main points
- Lena interprets what she is told about her family into horrible images of death and destruction, demonstrating her mistrust of her own culture.
- She perceives the beggar sentenced to death by her great-grandfather through images of pain and suffering.
- Lena thinks that it does matter to ‘know what is the worst possible thing that could happen to you’ as this is the only way to avoid its affect.
- The horrible things Lena’s sees with her Chinese eyes shows the difference between Chinese girls and Caucasian girls, saying that she saw things that they did not, emphasising her isolation from the dominant American culture.
Key quotes
‘Sword was cutting me down’, ‘cleaver to chop up his bones’
‘unspeakable terrors’ that ‘chased’ Lena’s mother
‘lightning striking down little children’, ‘squashing a beetle with the face of a child’,
‘dangerous monkey rings’, ‘tether balls splashing a girl’s head in front of laughing girls in a playground’
‘Knowing the worst possible thing that could happen to you’
Second body paragraph
Topic sentence
The composer illustrates through visual images of characters how perceptions of physical appearances can prevent meaningful belonging, especially for youth.
Main points
- Description of Lena’s appearance indicates her half Chinese and half Irish heritage - shows that she finds it difficult to belong to both cultures
- She identifies her eyes as being from her mother, with no eyelids, showing how she longed for rounder eyes, like other Caucasians.
- Lena compares her eyes to her mother’s in a photo taken on her wedding day.
- Lena’s mother is declared a Displaced Person, the authorities not knowing how to categorise her on her release from Angel Island Immigration Station as they did not have a category for Chinese wife of a Caucasian person.
- Her father innocently changes the identity of her mother, incorrectly writing her name and year of birth.
- The photo also shows her mother’s displacement through the wedding dress and Westernized jacket she is wearing.
- Father misinterprets Lena’s mother’s startled look in the photograph as being due to her confusion about the word ‘cheese’ said by her father when the photo was taken.
- Lena suggests that her mother continued to look ‘waiting for something to happen’, only later she lost the ‘struggle to keep her eyes open’.
Key quotes
‘smooth as beach pebbles’, ‘faded in the sun’
Third body paragraph
Topic sentence
The composer uses the word ‘includer’ to establish the significance of helping others, especially youth, to belong in situations that are foreign to them.
Main points
- That including others has a profound effect on an individual’s well being and self esteem.
- Going out of your way to include others is just as important as being included.
- Teaching our children to be conscious of including others affects the way they see the world as they grow up – as either friendly or hostile.
- Actively including others improves a person’s social and personal confidence
Key quotes
‘includer’
‘vital for our own emotional health’
‘child alone in the playground’, ‘school girl being exiled’
‘sharer at Pre School’
‘disastrously’, ‘hurtful power plays’
‘intrinsically self-centred’
‘Great for them. Great for ourselves’
Conclusion
‘Youth and Belonging’ addresses how perceptions of the world have a profound affect on the way a young person identifies themselves, other people and the society they live in. For young people these perceptions are formed in childhood and are often established through family members and other adults. ‘The Joy Luck Club’ explores the valuable role culture plays in determining an individual’s sense of self and self awareness. Through establishing the importance of ‘including’ others in ‘Welcome Stranger’, the composer educates the responder on the significance of making others feel safe, especially during childhood, in order to assist their sense of belonging and feeling of well being in society.
Body paragraphs
As portrayed in the beginning of Voices from the Wall, Lena’s imagination as a young girl affects her perception of the world and her culture, preventing her from connecting with her Chinese heritage. Lena understands what she is told about her Chinese family through horrific images of murder – ‘Sword was cutting me down’, ‘cleaver to chop up his bones’ - demonstrating her mistrust of her own culture. She has an overactive imagination; she sees the worst in things, something she gets from her mother. Her mother interprets her daughter’s morbid thoughts as representing American culture; the morbid aspects of the culture she does not understand, although they are shared with Chinese culture. Lena perceives the beggar sentenced to death by her great-grandfather through images of pain and suffering - in this case through death. Her understanding of belonging goes beyond living - even through death one cannot escape pain and a harrowing sense of belonging. Lena thinks that it does matter to ‘know what is the worst possible thing that could happen to you’ as this is the only way to avoid its affect. ‘Knowing the worst possible thing that could happen to you’ becomes a metaphor for how people separate themselves from their own spirit and from their society. She thinks that these unspeakable things are what eat away at people from the inside. It’s these types of secrets that found their way to the ‘dark corner’ of her mother’s mind. She associates these thoughts are ‘devouring’ her mother until she became a ghost. As a young girl, Lena connects these horrible events in her mother’s life to a separation from the self and culture, obscuring her comprehension of meaningful belonging.
The composer illustrates through visual images of characters how perceptions of physical appearances can prevent meaningful belonging, especially for youth. The description of Lena’s appearance indicates her half Chinese and half Irish heritage, highlighting the difficulty Lena experiences belonging to both cultures. The composer uses similes to describe Lena’s ‘smooth as beach pebbles’ cheeks and her ‘faded in the sun’ skin. Lena’s eyes are from her mother, with no eyelids, emphasising how she longed for rounder eyes, like other Caucasians. This is shown through a visual image of her pushing her eyes in on the sides attempting to look Caucasian, although she seemed odd as her father asked her why she looked scared. The comparison of a photo of Lena and her mother with the same startled look connects the mother and daughter. The visual image of the photo helps the responder to understand Lena’s mother’s struggle to belong as she was declared a Displaced Person. The authorities did not know how to categorise her on her release from Angel Island Immigration Station as they did not have a category for Chinese wife of a Caucasian person. The composer uses an anecdote from Lena’s father to show that her mother lost her tiger spirit. Her father innocently changes the identity of her mother, incorrectly writing her name and year of birth. Her mother lost her name and became a ‘dragon’ instead of a ‘tiger’. The dress her mother is wearing in the photo further develops her mother’s displacement. She is wearing a traditional Chinese dress, a wedding gift form Lena’s father, with a ‘Westernized suit jacket’ covering up her heritage. The jacket looks awkward on her ‘small body’. Lena interprets the image of her mother as showing that she was ‘neither coming from nor going to someplace,’ an unusual thought considering it was her wedding day. Lena’s father misinterprets Lena’s mother’s startled look in the photograph as being due to her confusion about the word ‘cheese’ said by her father when the photo was taken. Lena suggests that her mother continued to look like she was ‘waiting for something to happen’. Later her mother lost the ‘struggle to keep her eyes open’, giving up hope of belonging comfortably in her new environment.
The composer uses the word ‘includer’ to establish the significance of helping others, especially youth, to belong in situations that are foreign to them. She emphasises ‘vital’ in ‘vital for our own emotional health’ to demonstrate that a sense of belonging through feeling included by others has a positive impact on our emotional well being. The composer feels we spend more time worrying about how we could be left out rather than how we can include others. She uses emotive words such as ‘disastrously’, ‘hurtful power plays’ to show that shunning is often used to create a sense of belonging, but at the ‘expense of others’. The composer is critical of this form of belonging as she states that it is ‘intrinsically self-centred’ and demonstrates ‘grave misunderstanding of what personal power’ represents. The composer outlines through the ages how we can be includers – a sharer at preschool, adults looking out for a person, colleagues being sensitive to a newcomer. However establishing the importance of ‘including’ others in childhood can have a powerful affect on how people perceive the world in adulthood. Teaching our children to be conscious of including others affects the way they see the world as they grow up – as either friendly or hostile. Actively including others improves a person’s social and personal confidence. In addition, the composer develops the idea that including others is relevant to all of us through imagery of common ways people exclude others such as the ‘child alone in the playground’ and the ‘school girl being exiled’ in the playground. Developing a positive sense of belonging therefore begins at an early age.
Activity
If you have studied The Joy Luck Club, use the modelled response as a guide to write a plan for the next three body paragraphs. On a separate piece of paper, write the paragraphs in full, using your notes.
Fourth body paragraph
Topic sentence
Main points:
Key quotes:
Fifth body paragraph
Topic sentence
Main points:
Key quotes:
Sixth body paragraph
Topic sentence
Main points:
Key quotes:
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Language Features of Analytical Responses
Activity
Refer to a substantial piece of writing that answers a HSC style question about your prescribed text for the following activity.
Discuss the language features used in the example.
Discuss the effectiveness of the language features used in the example.
How could language features be improved to clarify meaning and relate to belonging?
Narrative mode
• Analytical responses are usually written in the third person as this is a formal form of writing. Third-person narrative allows the writer to objectively comment on the events in the texts being analysed. Third-person narrative is indicated by words such as it, he, she, their, etc.
• First-person narrative is used when you are invited to give a personal response, for example, in a speech or an opinion piece. First person is indicated by words such as me, us, I, we, ours, etc.
Example:
Effectiveness:
Sentence choice
• Use a variety of sentence types. Simple sentences are often used in more informal writing, like speeches and magazine articles, rather than essays. However, complex sentences are still appropriate for informal forms of writing.
Example:
Effectiveness:
• Complex sentences are sentences which contain a number of ideas in the one sentence. They have multiple clauses.
Example:
Effectiveness:
Word choice
• Use connecting words to link ideas between paragraphs.
Example:
Effectiveness:
Evaluative language
• Use evaluative language to strengthen the argument. Evaluative language is language that attributes value or worth to an idea or statement.
Example:
Effectiveness:
Nominalisation
• Try to change verbs into nouns to sound more objective. This is called nominalisation. For example, the verb ‘behave’ becomes the noun ‘behaviour’, ‘judge’ becomes the noun ‘judgment’, and so on.
Example:
Effectiveness:
Abstract nouns
• Use abstract nouns to explain things. An abstract nouns is the name of a quality, state or action
Example:
Effectiveness:
Noun groups
• Use detailed noun groups to provide information in a compact form. Noun groups expand or elaborate on a noun.
Example:
Effectiveness:
Clause combinations
• Use complex combinations of clauses as contrast. Conjunctions like although, because and while provide the link between ideas.
Example:
Effectiveness:
Refer to a substantial piece of writing that answers a HSC style question about your prescribed text for the following activity.
Discuss the language features used in the example.
Discuss the effectiveness of the language features used in the example.
How could language features be improved to clarify meaning and relate to belonging?
Narrative mode
• Analytical responses are usually written in the third person as this is a formal form of writing. Third-person narrative allows the writer to objectively comment on the events in the texts being analysed. Third-person narrative is indicated by words such as it, he, she, their, etc.
• First-person narrative is used when you are invited to give a personal response, for example, in a speech or an opinion piece. First person is indicated by words such as me, us, I, we, ours, etc.
Example:
Effectiveness:
Sentence choice
• Use a variety of sentence types. Simple sentences are often used in more informal writing, like speeches and magazine articles, rather than essays. However, complex sentences are still appropriate for informal forms of writing.
Example:
Effectiveness:
• Complex sentences are sentences which contain a number of ideas in the one sentence. They have multiple clauses.
Example:
Effectiveness:
Word choice
• Use connecting words to link ideas between paragraphs.
Example:
Effectiveness:
Evaluative language
• Use evaluative language to strengthen the argument. Evaluative language is language that attributes value or worth to an idea or statement.
Example:
Effectiveness:
Nominalisation
• Try to change verbs into nouns to sound more objective. This is called nominalisation. For example, the verb ‘behave’ becomes the noun ‘behaviour’, ‘judge’ becomes the noun ‘judgment’, and so on.
Example:
Effectiveness:
Abstract nouns
• Use abstract nouns to explain things. An abstract nouns is the name of a quality, state or action
Example:
Effectiveness:
Noun groups
• Use detailed noun groups to provide information in a compact form. Noun groups expand or elaborate on a noun.
Example:
Effectiveness:
Clause combinations
• Use complex combinations of clauses as contrast. Conjunctions like although, because and while provide the link between ideas.
Example:
Effectiveness:
The Joy Luck Club: Key Scene Analysis
To gain a better understanding of how language and visual techniques work together to create meaning, it is a good idea to analyse a few key scenes from the text.
Activity
Make notes about a key scene in The Joy Luck Club, taking into account:
• language or visual techniques
• examples of the techniques from the text
• analysis of how these examples relate to belonging.
Then write a full analysis of the scene and its techniques, and their relation to belonging.
An example of a scene has been included in the following modelled response. After you have read the modelled response, choose a different scene to analyse.
Modelled response
Key scene: LENA ST. CLAIR, beginning of ‘Voice from the Wall’
Techniques and examples:
- Horrific images of murder – ‘Sword was cutting me down’, ‘cleaver to chop up his bones’
- Personification of ‘unspeakable terrors’ that ‘chased’ Lena’s mother
- Storytelling of the evil man in the basement
- Metaphors of horrible things Lena’s sees with her ‘Chinese eyes’ - lightning striking down little children, she squashing a beetle with the face of a child, dangerous monkey rings, tether balls splashing a girl’s head in front of laughing girls in a playground.
- Similes describe Lena’s appearance - ‘smooth as beach pebbles’ cheeks and her ‘faded in the sun’ skin.
- Visual image of Lena pushing her eyes in on the sides shows her determination to look Caucasian.
- Anecdote of Lena’s father changing his wife’s name and identity from a tiger to a dragon to show that her mother lost her tiger spirit.
Analysis:
- The effect of the imagination on Lena’s perception of the world is portrayed in the beginning of ‘Voices from the Wall’.
- Lena interprets what she is told about her family into horrible images of death and destruction, demonstrating her mistrust of her own culture.
- She perceives the beggar sentenced to death by her great-grandfather through images of pain and suffering - prevents belonging.
- Lena thinks that it does matter to ‘know what is the worst possible thing that could happen to you’ as this is the only way to avoid its affect.
- Her mother tells her a tale through storytelling about the evil man who lives in the basement to protect her child.
- The horrible things Lena’s sees with her Chinese eyes shows the difference between Chinese girls and Caucasian girls, saying that she saw things that they did not, emphasizing her isolation from the dominant American culture.
-Description of Lena’s appearance indicates her half Chinese and half Irish heritage and that people would not immediately recognise her difference.
- She identifies her eyes as being from her mother, with no eyelids, showing how she longed for rounder eyes, like other Caucasians.
- Lena compares her eyes to her mother’s in a photo taken on her wedding day.
- Lena’s mother is declared a Displaced Person, the authorities not knowing how to categorise her on her release from Angel Island Immigration Station as they did not have a category for Chinese wife of a Caucasian person.
- Her father innocently changes the identity of her mother, incorrectly writing her name and year of birth.
- The photo also shows her mother’s displacement through the wedding dress and Westernized jacket she is wearing.
- Her father misinterprets Lena’s mother’s startled look in the photograph as being due to her confusion about the word ‘cheese’ said by her father when the photo was taken.
- Lena suggests that her mother continued to look ‘waiting for something to happen’, only later she lost the ‘struggle to keep her eyes open’.
Full analysis of how the techniques and examples represent belonging:
The effect of the imagination on Lena’s perception of the world is portrayed in the beginning of ‘Voices from the Wall’. Lena perceives what she is told about her Chinese family through horrific images of murder – ‘Sword was cutting me down’, ‘cleaver to chop up his bones’ - demonstrating her mistrust of her own culture. She has an overactive imagination; she sees the worst in things, something she gets from her mother. Her mother interprets her daughter’s morbid thoughts as representing American culture; the morbid aspects of the culture she does not understand, although they are shared with Chinese culture. Lena perceives the beggar sentenced to death by her great-grandfather through images of pain and suffering - in this case through death. Her understanding of belonging goes beyond living - even through death one cannot escape pain and a harrowing sense of belonging. Lena thinks that it does matter to ‘know what is the worst possible thing that could happen to you’ as this is the only way to avoid its affect. ‘Knowing the worst possible thing that could happen to you’ becomes a metaphor for how people separate themselves from their own spirit and from their society. She thinks that these unspeakable things are what eat away at people from the inside. It’s these types of secrets that found their way to the ‘dark corner’ of her mother’s mind. She associates these thoughts as ‘devouring’ her mother until she became a ghost. Horrible events in life separate us from our true selves and prevent us from belonging.
Lena’s curiosity leads her to the basement of her house in Oakland that she was forbidden to enter. When she eventually pries the door to the basement open and falls into a ‘deep chasm’, her mother tells her a tale. The storytelling about the evil man, who lives in the basement and does horrible things to little girls like plant babies in their bellies only to eat them and their mothers, whole frighten Lena and separate her from her culture. The composer uses visual imagery of ‘horrible things’ Lena sees with her ‘Chinese eyes’ - lightning striking down little children, she squashing a beetle with the face of a child - as a way of showing the difference between Chinese girls and Caucasian girls. Lena recognises that she saw things that they did not - dangerous monkey rings, tether balls splashing a girl’s head in front of laughing girls in a playground - emphasising her isolation from the dominant American culture. These are painful, but humiliating images, indicating Lena’s shame of her culture.
The composer illustrates through visual imagery how character’s perceptions of physical appearances can prevent meaningful belonging. The description of Lena’s appearance indicates her half Chinese and half Irish heritage, highlighting the difficulty Lena experiences belonging to both cultures. The composer uses similes to describe Lena’s ‘smooth as beach pebbles’ cheeks and her ‘faded in the sun’ skin. Lena’s eyes are from her mother, with no eyelids, emphasising how she longed for rounder eyes, like other Caucasians. This is shown through a visual image of her pushing her eyes in on the sides attempting to look Caucasian, although she seemed odd as her father asked her why she looked scared. The comparison of a photo of Lena and her mother with the same startled look connects the mother and daughter. The visual image of the photo helps the responder to understand Lena’s mother’s struggle to belong as she was declared a Displaced Person. The authorities did not know how to categorise her on her release from Angel Island Immigration Station as they did not have a category for Chinese wife of a Caucasian person. The composer uses an anecdote from Lena’s father to show that her mother lost her tiger spirit. Her father innocently changes the identity of her mother, incorrectly writing her name and year of birth. Her mother lost her name and became a ‘dragon’ instead of a ‘tiger’. The dress her mother is wearing in the photo further develops her mother’s displacement. She is wearing a traditional Chinese dress, a wedding gift form Lena’s father, with a ‘Westernized suit jacket’ covering up her heritage. The jacket looks awkward on her ‘small body’. Lena interprets the image of her mother as showing that she was ‘neither coming from nor going to someplace,’ an unusual thought considering it was her wedding day. Lena’s father misinterprets Lena’s mother’s startled look in the photograph as being due to her confusion about the word ‘cheese’ said by her father when the photo was taken. Lena suggests that her mother continued to look like she was ‘waiting for something to happen’. Later, Lena realises, her mother lost the ‘struggle to keep her eyes open’, giving up hope of belonging comfortably in her new environment.
Activity
Make notes about a key scene in The Joy Luck Club, taking into account:
• language or visual techniques
• examples of the techniques from the text
• analysis of how these examples relate to belonging.
Then write a full analysis of the scene and its techniques, and their relation to belonging.
An example of a scene has been included in the following modelled response. After you have read the modelled response, choose a different scene to analyse.
Modelled response
Key scene: LENA ST. CLAIR, beginning of ‘Voice from the Wall’
Techniques and examples:
- Horrific images of murder – ‘Sword was cutting me down’, ‘cleaver to chop up his bones’
- Personification of ‘unspeakable terrors’ that ‘chased’ Lena’s mother
- Storytelling of the evil man in the basement
- Metaphors of horrible things Lena’s sees with her ‘Chinese eyes’ - lightning striking down little children, she squashing a beetle with the face of a child, dangerous monkey rings, tether balls splashing a girl’s head in front of laughing girls in a playground.
- Similes describe Lena’s appearance - ‘smooth as beach pebbles’ cheeks and her ‘faded in the sun’ skin.
- Visual image of Lena pushing her eyes in on the sides shows her determination to look Caucasian.
- Anecdote of Lena’s father changing his wife’s name and identity from a tiger to a dragon to show that her mother lost her tiger spirit.
Analysis:
- The effect of the imagination on Lena’s perception of the world is portrayed in the beginning of ‘Voices from the Wall’.
- Lena interprets what she is told about her family into horrible images of death and destruction, demonstrating her mistrust of her own culture.
- She perceives the beggar sentenced to death by her great-grandfather through images of pain and suffering - prevents belonging.
- Lena thinks that it does matter to ‘know what is the worst possible thing that could happen to you’ as this is the only way to avoid its affect.
- Her mother tells her a tale through storytelling about the evil man who lives in the basement to protect her child.
- The horrible things Lena’s sees with her Chinese eyes shows the difference between Chinese girls and Caucasian girls, saying that she saw things that they did not, emphasizing her isolation from the dominant American culture.
-Description of Lena’s appearance indicates her half Chinese and half Irish heritage and that people would not immediately recognise her difference.
- She identifies her eyes as being from her mother, with no eyelids, showing how she longed for rounder eyes, like other Caucasians.
- Lena compares her eyes to her mother’s in a photo taken on her wedding day.
- Lena’s mother is declared a Displaced Person, the authorities not knowing how to categorise her on her release from Angel Island Immigration Station as they did not have a category for Chinese wife of a Caucasian person.
- Her father innocently changes the identity of her mother, incorrectly writing her name and year of birth.
- The photo also shows her mother’s displacement through the wedding dress and Westernized jacket she is wearing.
- Her father misinterprets Lena’s mother’s startled look in the photograph as being due to her confusion about the word ‘cheese’ said by her father when the photo was taken.
- Lena suggests that her mother continued to look ‘waiting for something to happen’, only later she lost the ‘struggle to keep her eyes open’.
Full analysis of how the techniques and examples represent belonging:
The effect of the imagination on Lena’s perception of the world is portrayed in the beginning of ‘Voices from the Wall’. Lena perceives what she is told about her Chinese family through horrific images of murder – ‘Sword was cutting me down’, ‘cleaver to chop up his bones’ - demonstrating her mistrust of her own culture. She has an overactive imagination; she sees the worst in things, something she gets from her mother. Her mother interprets her daughter’s morbid thoughts as representing American culture; the morbid aspects of the culture she does not understand, although they are shared with Chinese culture. Lena perceives the beggar sentenced to death by her great-grandfather through images of pain and suffering - in this case through death. Her understanding of belonging goes beyond living - even through death one cannot escape pain and a harrowing sense of belonging. Lena thinks that it does matter to ‘know what is the worst possible thing that could happen to you’ as this is the only way to avoid its affect. ‘Knowing the worst possible thing that could happen to you’ becomes a metaphor for how people separate themselves from their own spirit and from their society. She thinks that these unspeakable things are what eat away at people from the inside. It’s these types of secrets that found their way to the ‘dark corner’ of her mother’s mind. She associates these thoughts as ‘devouring’ her mother until she became a ghost. Horrible events in life separate us from our true selves and prevent us from belonging.
Lena’s curiosity leads her to the basement of her house in Oakland that she was forbidden to enter. When she eventually pries the door to the basement open and falls into a ‘deep chasm’, her mother tells her a tale. The storytelling about the evil man, who lives in the basement and does horrible things to little girls like plant babies in their bellies only to eat them and their mothers, whole frighten Lena and separate her from her culture. The composer uses visual imagery of ‘horrible things’ Lena sees with her ‘Chinese eyes’ - lightning striking down little children, she squashing a beetle with the face of a child - as a way of showing the difference between Chinese girls and Caucasian girls. Lena recognises that she saw things that they did not - dangerous monkey rings, tether balls splashing a girl’s head in front of laughing girls in a playground - emphasising her isolation from the dominant American culture. These are painful, but humiliating images, indicating Lena’s shame of her culture.
The composer illustrates through visual imagery how character’s perceptions of physical appearances can prevent meaningful belonging. The description of Lena’s appearance indicates her half Chinese and half Irish heritage, highlighting the difficulty Lena experiences belonging to both cultures. The composer uses similes to describe Lena’s ‘smooth as beach pebbles’ cheeks and her ‘faded in the sun’ skin. Lena’s eyes are from her mother, with no eyelids, emphasising how she longed for rounder eyes, like other Caucasians. This is shown through a visual image of her pushing her eyes in on the sides attempting to look Caucasian, although she seemed odd as her father asked her why she looked scared. The comparison of a photo of Lena and her mother with the same startled look connects the mother and daughter. The visual image of the photo helps the responder to understand Lena’s mother’s struggle to belong as she was declared a Displaced Person. The authorities did not know how to categorise her on her release from Angel Island Immigration Station as they did not have a category for Chinese wife of a Caucasian person. The composer uses an anecdote from Lena’s father to show that her mother lost her tiger spirit. Her father innocently changes the identity of her mother, incorrectly writing her name and year of birth. Her mother lost her name and became a ‘dragon’ instead of a ‘tiger’. The dress her mother is wearing in the photo further develops her mother’s displacement. She is wearing a traditional Chinese dress, a wedding gift form Lena’s father, with a ‘Westernized suit jacket’ covering up her heritage. The jacket looks awkward on her ‘small body’. Lena interprets the image of her mother as showing that she was ‘neither coming from nor going to someplace,’ an unusual thought considering it was her wedding day. Lena’s father misinterprets Lena’s mother’s startled look in the photograph as being due to her confusion about the word ‘cheese’ said by her father when the photo was taken. Lena suggests that her mother continued to look like she was ‘waiting for something to happen’. Later, Lena realises, her mother lost the ‘struggle to keep her eyes open’, giving up hope of belonging comfortably in her new environment.
Creative Writing: Developing an Event
An event in a story refers to a significant incident that involves characters, setting, and usually tension or a turning point. Events are also called scenes or incidents. Events are important because they allow the reader to visualize what is happening to your characters.
Activity: (This should take about 10 minutes to complete)
Write an event involving a character you have written about or a character that is in your mind that you would like to develop further.
Modelled response
The mornings are flippant, so my mother told me. The way I hung my head upside down over the edge of the bed and dangled my arms from side to side when I was suppose to be getting dressed for the day ahead. How my mother washed in the bucket, scrubbing vigorously the ginger soap up her arms, under her arm pits. The water splashing out suspended in the air before zooming into the rough mat that signified the washroom. Her skin shiny and sore, like a burn after months of healing. How my brother flew his imaginary airplane along the sparse furniture that occupied the single room in our cottage, leaping and bounding through the space, knocking the richotty chair that he caught with his spare hand just before it hit the ground. He held the airplane in one hand and chair in the other, still in anticipation.
‘Billy,’ my mother shouted. ‘How many times do I have to tell you?’
She rose from her squatting position and put her wet hands on her hips, the liquid dripped down her bare legs. She stood there till my brother delicately returned the chair upright, patting it a little, smiling nervously at the wall, avoiding my mother’s eyes.
‘Go and get dressed, both of you.’ Her hands flung the air about as she sighed.
My favourite dress was neatly laid out on the crocheted rug of red my grandmother hand made when I was born. When I wore it I rubbed the lace at the trim so purposefully, that holes like moth bites had grown over the years. Bits of lace hung down to the ground, I refusing to tear them off even though I tripped often. My brother was already dressed. Always before me. He placed his rucksack on his back and moved toward the front door open to the wilderness.
My mother wrapped a shawl around her body and moved about the cottage, tidying up evidence of breakfast. ‘Late for work again,’ she said. ‘To the door, Rose.’
My mother helped me put the rucksack on my back and tapped me on the bottom toward the door. I joined my brother, facing my mother who leaned down in front of us. She cupped our chins with the palms of her hands and squeezed tenderly.
‘To your father's now,’ she said. I followed her gaze to my brother’s face as she intensified her hold on his chin. ‘No going off the path, do you hear?’
My brother’s head bobbed up and down in her palm. My mother satisfied stood up as we turned to the path leading from the door to the edge of the forest. I heard her good bye as we ran down the path with our bags jiggling on our backs.
Activity: (This should take about 10 minutes to complete)
Write an event involving a character you have written about or a character that is in your mind that you would like to develop further.
Modelled response
The mornings are flippant, so my mother told me. The way I hung my head upside down over the edge of the bed and dangled my arms from side to side when I was suppose to be getting dressed for the day ahead. How my mother washed in the bucket, scrubbing vigorously the ginger soap up her arms, under her arm pits. The water splashing out suspended in the air before zooming into the rough mat that signified the washroom. Her skin shiny and sore, like a burn after months of healing. How my brother flew his imaginary airplane along the sparse furniture that occupied the single room in our cottage, leaping and bounding through the space, knocking the richotty chair that he caught with his spare hand just before it hit the ground. He held the airplane in one hand and chair in the other, still in anticipation.
‘Billy,’ my mother shouted. ‘How many times do I have to tell you?’
She rose from her squatting position and put her wet hands on her hips, the liquid dripped down her bare legs. She stood there till my brother delicately returned the chair upright, patting it a little, smiling nervously at the wall, avoiding my mother’s eyes.
‘Go and get dressed, both of you.’ Her hands flung the air about as she sighed.
My favourite dress was neatly laid out on the crocheted rug of red my grandmother hand made when I was born. When I wore it I rubbed the lace at the trim so purposefully, that holes like moth bites had grown over the years. Bits of lace hung down to the ground, I refusing to tear them off even though I tripped often. My brother was already dressed. Always before me. He placed his rucksack on his back and moved toward the front door open to the wilderness.
My mother wrapped a shawl around her body and moved about the cottage, tidying up evidence of breakfast. ‘Late for work again,’ she said. ‘To the door, Rose.’
My mother helped me put the rucksack on my back and tapped me on the bottom toward the door. I joined my brother, facing my mother who leaned down in front of us. She cupped our chins with the palms of her hands and squeezed tenderly.
‘To your father's now,’ she said. I followed her gaze to my brother’s face as she intensified her hold on his chin. ‘No going off the path, do you hear?’
My brother’s head bobbed up and down in her palm. My mother satisfied stood up as we turned to the path leading from the door to the edge of the forest. I heard her good bye as we ran down the path with our bags jiggling on our backs.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Creative Writing: Characterisation
Developing character
Activity: (This should take about 10 minutes to complete)
1. One way of developing character is to freewrite about your character based on either chosen or given headings. These headings can inspire a history of your character. This activity is a good way to get to know the character that rests in your mind. Your short writing pieces can be used in a larger piece of writing or they can inform your character’s reactions to and attitudes about certain things that happen in the story.
2. You could also rewrite this activity into a journal. To do this, change the narrative to first person and see what happens.
Modelled response
My character is a man from the forest in a sort of fairytale like setting. When I was writing about this character, I was thinking about the woodchopper in ‘Little Red Riding Hood’ and the old woman from the confectionary house in ‘Hansel and Gretel’. These heading just popped into my head and I began to freewrite about them, without judging my writing or my thoughts.
The cauldron
He brought the cauldron from a local shepherd. It took several attempts to move the cauldron to his cottage. Carrying it with his bare hands was impossible, even cushioning the bottom with linen towels did not work. Pushing it like a boulder up a hill killed his back, and so he made a sort of pulley on wheels, much like the Egyptians used to move stone blocks from the quarry to the pyramid.
Teeth
The old man’s teeth where in good condition despite the amount of sweets he’d consumed over the years and the terrible state of the medical system. As a baby, his mother fed him honey when he refused to suckle from her boob as a way of soothing his relentless screeching. His sweet tooth grew from there into a thriving confectionary business. Today he preferred the organic ingredients from the forest surrounding his cottage, although he imported sugar cane from the far north. He worked alone these days, squeezing the sugar cane meticulously, preserving the taste and texture.
Failed recipes
For the old man, a deviation from his mother’s recipes for delicate sweets was a bruise to the ego so large that he would remain in his bed chamber for days. Once his attention was drawn temporarily away from the melting of the sugar cane by a swallow tapping on the door. The slight disruption allowed the syrup to burn slightly. Although you or I would not be able to tell, the smell of burnt toffee lingered in his subconscious for days to come.
Changed from a story to a journal
The cauldron The other day I brought the cauldron from a local shepherd. It took me several attempts to move the cauldron to my cottage. Carrying it with my bare hands was impossible, even cushioning the bottom with linen towels did not work. Pushing it like a boulder up a hill killed my back, and so I made a sort of pulley on wheels, much like the Egyptians used to move stone blocks from the quarry to the pyramid.
Activity: (This should take about 10 minutes to complete)
1. One way of developing character is to freewrite about your character based on either chosen or given headings. These headings can inspire a history of your character. This activity is a good way to get to know the character that rests in your mind. Your short writing pieces can be used in a larger piece of writing or they can inform your character’s reactions to and attitudes about certain things that happen in the story.
2. You could also rewrite this activity into a journal. To do this, change the narrative to first person and see what happens.
Modelled response
My character is a man from the forest in a sort of fairytale like setting. When I was writing about this character, I was thinking about the woodchopper in ‘Little Red Riding Hood’ and the old woman from the confectionary house in ‘Hansel and Gretel’. These heading just popped into my head and I began to freewrite about them, without judging my writing or my thoughts.
The cauldron
He brought the cauldron from a local shepherd. It took several attempts to move the cauldron to his cottage. Carrying it with his bare hands was impossible, even cushioning the bottom with linen towels did not work. Pushing it like a boulder up a hill killed his back, and so he made a sort of pulley on wheels, much like the Egyptians used to move stone blocks from the quarry to the pyramid.
Teeth
The old man’s teeth where in good condition despite the amount of sweets he’d consumed over the years and the terrible state of the medical system. As a baby, his mother fed him honey when he refused to suckle from her boob as a way of soothing his relentless screeching. His sweet tooth grew from there into a thriving confectionary business. Today he preferred the organic ingredients from the forest surrounding his cottage, although he imported sugar cane from the far north. He worked alone these days, squeezing the sugar cane meticulously, preserving the taste and texture.
Failed recipes
For the old man, a deviation from his mother’s recipes for delicate sweets was a bruise to the ego so large that he would remain in his bed chamber for days. Once his attention was drawn temporarily away from the melting of the sugar cane by a swallow tapping on the door. The slight disruption allowed the syrup to burn slightly. Although you or I would not be able to tell, the smell of burnt toffee lingered in his subconscious for days to come.
Changed from a story to a journal
The cauldron The other day I brought the cauldron from a local shepherd. It took me several attempts to move the cauldron to my cottage. Carrying it with my bare hands was impossible, even cushioning the bottom with linen towels did not work. Pushing it like a boulder up a hill killed my back, and so I made a sort of pulley on wheels, much like the Egyptians used to move stone blocks from the quarry to the pyramid.
Unseen texts: 'Drifters' & 'Welcome Stranger'
Sample HSC Exam Questions for Section 1
Text 1: Poem - ‘Drifters’ by Bruce Dawe (see link on right)
a i Discuss the problems conveyed by the composer about belonging in the text. (2 marks)
ii How has the composer used language techniques to express an attitude to belonging?
(3 marks)
Possible answers
a i
· The family is unable to establish roots because they keep moving house/communities.
· Some people in the family like moving from place to place, but others don’t (the kids are
‘wildly exited’ and the oldest girl is ‘close to tears’).
· The mother has abandoned control of where the family is headed.
ii
· Belonging to a place is closely tied to belonging in a family. All people in this family are affected by the father’s decision to relocate. To belong in this family, movement is necessary, despite individual wishes.
· Family members often have to compromise or sacrifice what they want in order to belong in their family. Some members wish to establish a permanent sense of place and others don’t. This is demonstrated through the juxtaposition of the differing perceptions of moving based on how they belonged in the place they were living – the oldest girl is on the verge of tears and the youngest girl is ‘beaming’. This is also shown in the mother’s acceptance of her ‘drifter’ lifestyle through the image of the ‘bottling-set / she never unpacked from Grovedale’.
· A lack of permanent place to live can provide for a spontaneous lifestyle – anything can happen. This is shown through the repetitive dialogue from the mother, ‘Make a wish, Tom, make a wish.’ The spontaneity of the lifestyle and the excitement caused by the announcement that they will be moving on is shown through the unusual ending of certain lines – ‘…tripping / everyone up’ and ‘…she was / happy here’. The position of the lines echoes the exited movement of the dog, getting in the way of the family packing.
Text 2: Newspaper article: ‘Welcome Stranger’ by Stephanie Dowrick (see link on right)
b i What comment is the composer making about including others in this newspaper article?
(2 marks)
ii Choose two language techniques and explain the way it supports an idea about belonging expressed in the writing. (3 marks)
Possible answers
b i
· That including others has a profound effect on an individual’s well being and self esteem.
· Going out of your way to include others is just as important as being included.
· Teaching our children to be conscious of including others affects the way they see the world as they grow up – as either friendly or hostile.
· Actively including others improves a person’s social and personal confidence.
ii
· The composer uses the word ‘includer’ to establish the significance of helping others to belong in situations that are foreign to them.
· The composer develops the idea that including others is relevant to all of us through imagery of common ways people exclude others such as the ''child alone in the playground’ and the ‘school girl being exiled’ in the playground. She compares this image to the ‘sharer at Pre School’ to illustrate the difference between feeling included and feeling excluded.
· Repetition of ‘great’ in ‘Great for them. Great for ourselves’ represents the effects of including others.
· The composer associates an ‘easy sense of belonging’ to feeling ‘safe’, both on the inside and the outside - in our thoughts of our behaviour and of ourselves.
Text 1 and 2: Poem and newspaper article
c Analyse how ONE text emphasises the effects of belonging on the individual’s understanding of the world. (5 marks)
Modelled response
The composer uses the word ‘includer’ to establish the significance of helping others to belong in situations that are foreign to them. She emphasises ‘vital’ in ‘vital for our own emotional health’ to demonstrate that a sense of belonging through feeling included by others has a positive impact on our emotional well being. She outlines through the ages how we can be includers – a sharer at preschool, adults looking out for a person, colleagues being sensitive to a newcomer. The composer develops the idea that including others is relevant to all of us through imagery of common ways people exclude others such as the ''child alone in the playground’ and the ‘school girl being exiled’ in the playground. She compares this image to the ‘sharer at Pre School’ to illustrate the difference between feeling excluded and feeling included. The composer feels we spend more time worrying about how we could be left out rather than how we can include others. She uses emotive words such as ‘disastrously’, ‘hurtful power plays’ to show that shunning is often used to create a sense of belonging, but at the ‘expense of others’. The composer is critical of this form of belonging as she states that it is ‘intrinsically self-centred’ and demonstrates ‘grave misunderstanding of what personal power’ represents. The deeper impact of excluding others is that it is founded on fear and extreme discomfort. The composer suggests that being real about our insecurities can lead to a greater sense of empathy for those who feel a similar way in situations where we easily belong. Repetition of ‘great’ in ‘Great for them. Great for ourselves’ represents the effects of including others. The composer associates an ‘easy sense of belonging’ to feeling ‘safe’, both on the inside and the outside - in our thoughts of our behaviour and of ourselves.
Text 1: Poem - ‘Drifters’ by Bruce Dawe (see link on right)
a i Discuss the problems conveyed by the composer about belonging in the text. (2 marks)
ii How has the composer used language techniques to express an attitude to belonging?
(3 marks)
Possible answers
a i
· The family is unable to establish roots because they keep moving house/communities.
· Some people in the family like moving from place to place, but others don’t (the kids are
‘wildly exited’ and the oldest girl is ‘close to tears’).
· The mother has abandoned control of where the family is headed.
ii
· Belonging to a place is closely tied to belonging in a family. All people in this family are affected by the father’s decision to relocate. To belong in this family, movement is necessary, despite individual wishes.
· Family members often have to compromise or sacrifice what they want in order to belong in their family. Some members wish to establish a permanent sense of place and others don’t. This is demonstrated through the juxtaposition of the differing perceptions of moving based on how they belonged in the place they were living – the oldest girl is on the verge of tears and the youngest girl is ‘beaming’. This is also shown in the mother’s acceptance of her ‘drifter’ lifestyle through the image of the ‘bottling-set / she never unpacked from Grovedale’.
· A lack of permanent place to live can provide for a spontaneous lifestyle – anything can happen. This is shown through the repetitive dialogue from the mother, ‘Make a wish, Tom, make a wish.’ The spontaneity of the lifestyle and the excitement caused by the announcement that they will be moving on is shown through the unusual ending of certain lines – ‘…tripping / everyone up’ and ‘…she was / happy here’. The position of the lines echoes the exited movement of the dog, getting in the way of the family packing.
Text 2: Newspaper article: ‘Welcome Stranger’ by Stephanie Dowrick (see link on right)
b i What comment is the composer making about including others in this newspaper article?
(2 marks)
ii Choose two language techniques and explain the way it supports an idea about belonging expressed in the writing. (3 marks)
Possible answers
b i
· That including others has a profound effect on an individual’s well being and self esteem.
· Going out of your way to include others is just as important as being included.
· Teaching our children to be conscious of including others affects the way they see the world as they grow up – as either friendly or hostile.
· Actively including others improves a person’s social and personal confidence.
ii
· The composer uses the word ‘includer’ to establish the significance of helping others to belong in situations that are foreign to them.
· The composer develops the idea that including others is relevant to all of us through imagery of common ways people exclude others such as the ''child alone in the playground’ and the ‘school girl being exiled’ in the playground. She compares this image to the ‘sharer at Pre School’ to illustrate the difference between feeling included and feeling excluded.
· Repetition of ‘great’ in ‘Great for them. Great for ourselves’ represents the effects of including others.
· The composer associates an ‘easy sense of belonging’ to feeling ‘safe’, both on the inside and the outside - in our thoughts of our behaviour and of ourselves.
Text 1 and 2: Poem and newspaper article
c Analyse how ONE text emphasises the effects of belonging on the individual’s understanding of the world. (5 marks)
Modelled response
The composer uses the word ‘includer’ to establish the significance of helping others to belong in situations that are foreign to them. She emphasises ‘vital’ in ‘vital for our own emotional health’ to demonstrate that a sense of belonging through feeling included by others has a positive impact on our emotional well being. She outlines through the ages how we can be includers – a sharer at preschool, adults looking out for a person, colleagues being sensitive to a newcomer. The composer develops the idea that including others is relevant to all of us through imagery of common ways people exclude others such as the ''child alone in the playground’ and the ‘school girl being exiled’ in the playground. She compares this image to the ‘sharer at Pre School’ to illustrate the difference between feeling excluded and feeling included. The composer feels we spend more time worrying about how we could be left out rather than how we can include others. She uses emotive words such as ‘disastrously’, ‘hurtful power plays’ to show that shunning is often used to create a sense of belonging, but at the ‘expense of others’. The composer is critical of this form of belonging as she states that it is ‘intrinsically self-centred’ and demonstrates ‘grave misunderstanding of what personal power’ represents. The deeper impact of excluding others is that it is founded on fear and extreme discomfort. The composer suggests that being real about our insecurities can lead to a greater sense of empathy for those who feel a similar way in situations where we easily belong. Repetition of ‘great’ in ‘Great for them. Great for ourselves’ represents the effects of including others. The composer associates an ‘easy sense of belonging’ to feeling ‘safe’, both on the inside and the outside - in our thoughts of our behaviour and of ourselves.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Creative writing: Playing with Language
Playing with language
Word/phrase association
Playing with language is a good way to develop ideas for writing creative pieces. The idea is to allow your subconscious to go with the flow of the ideas and thoughts that come to your mind. Try not to judge the words and phrases that come, just let the words appear on the page. The following activity can be useful in developing particular ideas or phrases or concepts that stand out to you. You can use these ideas in creative pieces you are already working on, or perhaps these ideas could turn into something greater. Whatever you choose, have fun playing with language and meaning.
Activity: (This should take about 4 minutes to complete)
1. I have chosen a number of phrases for this activity, but any phrase can be used. Begin with the first phrase and then after one minute continue your writing with the second phrase and so on until all the phrases have been included in your writing piece. Don’t worry about punctuation, spelling or grammar. Just write.
First phrase – ‘Along the river’ – write for one minute, then write the
second phrase – ‘I remember when’ – write for a further one minute, then write the
third phrase – ‘he had changed so much’ – write for a further one minute, the write the
fourth phrase – ‘in her imagination’ – write for the last minute. Stop writing.
2. Underline some of the phrases, ideas, concepts you particularly like. Try to use these in other pieces of writing you have already written or in future pieces of writing. Perhaps your thoughts may inspire a greater piece.
Modelled response
Along the river shop plants float freeing commotion peaceful orangutan, guided leaf flower frosted gamete gloat greedily car crash dreamed frosted orange petal camera cox carrot juice flow degrade furrow tunnel under ground sleep slumbering safe caress quake Carly name hat goat company titled fellow goat foot flow foreign come said the forest ground to a harrowing hollow empty wholeness forming happy walk groan I remember when the dog died Benny howled hell core quavering she crawled sheepishly next to the body, shy rice dad on the brink fell hole well rise your neck up in to the emptiness of solitude door handle window pain rain dripping, sliding down the glass like a snot she was the most unusual girl in the class styling fingertips were rested on the bottom of the foliage forever fun to be home in the snow cool touch great hair for hole deep welling in the socket of her checks mouth rich ruby raw crouch up float waft like incense burning coming down slipping hole fear following tripping toes slow frown grove to the gate growing sliding open pulling out he had changed so much at the airport gliding out of his body standing beside the postman checking for ants on the envelopes sleeping awake to the torrent gushing out there where grace learns to sew her dowry of brilliant silk into a blanket for her daughter or her monkey friend since birth in her imagination keeping faith and restoring hope for the beauty of the ka they laughed from their bellies fulling up on the fruit of the nectar life subtle force nudging on the bear who kissed the ranger on the head just like that and ate his breakfast he was hungry after sleeping furrowed in the cave.
Word/phrase association
Playing with language is a good way to develop ideas for writing creative pieces. The idea is to allow your subconscious to go with the flow of the ideas and thoughts that come to your mind. Try not to judge the words and phrases that come, just let the words appear on the page. The following activity can be useful in developing particular ideas or phrases or concepts that stand out to you. You can use these ideas in creative pieces you are already working on, or perhaps these ideas could turn into something greater. Whatever you choose, have fun playing with language and meaning.
Activity: (This should take about 4 minutes to complete)
1. I have chosen a number of phrases for this activity, but any phrase can be used. Begin with the first phrase and then after one minute continue your writing with the second phrase and so on until all the phrases have been included in your writing piece. Don’t worry about punctuation, spelling or grammar. Just write.
First phrase – ‘Along the river’ – write for one minute, then write the
second phrase – ‘I remember when’ – write for a further one minute, then write the
third phrase – ‘he had changed so much’ – write for a further one minute, the write the
fourth phrase – ‘in her imagination’ – write for the last minute. Stop writing.
2. Underline some of the phrases, ideas, concepts you particularly like. Try to use these in other pieces of writing you have already written or in future pieces of writing. Perhaps your thoughts may inspire a greater piece.
Modelled response
Along the river shop plants float freeing commotion peaceful orangutan, guided leaf flower frosted gamete gloat greedily car crash dreamed frosted orange petal camera cox carrot juice flow degrade furrow tunnel under ground sleep slumbering safe caress quake Carly name hat goat company titled fellow goat foot flow foreign come said the forest ground to a harrowing hollow empty wholeness forming happy walk groan I remember when the dog died Benny howled hell core quavering she crawled sheepishly next to the body, shy rice dad on the brink fell hole well rise your neck up in to the emptiness of solitude door handle window pain rain dripping, sliding down the glass like a snot she was the most unusual girl in the class styling fingertips were rested on the bottom of the foliage forever fun to be home in the snow cool touch great hair for hole deep welling in the socket of her checks mouth rich ruby raw crouch up float waft like incense burning coming down slipping hole fear following tripping toes slow frown grove to the gate growing sliding open pulling out he had changed so much at the airport gliding out of his body standing beside the postman checking for ants on the envelopes sleeping awake to the torrent gushing out there where grace learns to sew her dowry of brilliant silk into a blanket for her daughter or her monkey friend since birth in her imagination keeping faith and restoring hope for the beauty of the ka they laughed from their bellies fulling up on the fruit of the nectar life subtle force nudging on the bear who kissed the ranger on the head just like that and ate his breakfast he was hungry after sleeping furrowed in the cave.
The Simple Gift: Key Scene Analysis
To gain a better understanding of how language and visual techniques work together to create meaning, it is a good idea to analyse a few key scenes from the text.
Activity
Make notes about a key scene in The Simple Gift, taking into account:
• language or visual techniques
• examples of the techniques from the text
• analysis of how these examples relate to belonging.
Then write a full analysis of the scene and its techniques, and their relation to belonging.
An example of a scene has been included in the following modelled response. After you have read the modelled response, choose a different scene to analyse.
Modelled response
Key scene: Wentworth High School
Techniques and examples:
- Visual imagery of classroom/school – Principal driving her Holden out of the school grounds, the teacher leaving homework on the board, Billy’s offensive farewell written in red lipstick on the window
- Personification of wind ‘howling’ and rain ‘blowing potato crisp wrappers’
- Quote of Billy’s message to the class and teacher ‘“may you all get / well and truly stuffed”’ and ‘“ Billy Luckett, / rhymes with …”’
Analysis:
- The weather represents the depressing nature of Billy’s experiences at school and emphasise why he deliberately separates himself from this environment.
- Billy’s insulting message to his teacher and classmates sabotages any chance of him returning to belong in that environment.
- Reference to the Japanese curriculum highlights the ineffective nature of learning and why Billy chooses to not participate in school life.
- Billy chooses actions that isolate him from the school environment and society in general through stealing and abusive language.
Full analysis of how the techniques and examples represent belonging:
The dreary nature of Billy’s school environment is established at the beginning of this section through personification of the wind ‘howling’ and the rain falling in sheets ‘blowing potato crisp wrappers / across the oval.’ The composer personifies Billy’s farewell to his home through the ‘rainy afternoon / of my goodbyes.’ This accentuates the possible sadness Billy felt that he could not accept the environment he was forced to grow up in. This depressing feeling probably reflects how Billy felt about his schooling at Wentworth High School. The potato crisp packets all over the oval illustrate what students typically dispose of in the playground. These packets are now picked up by the wind, representing the lack of respect students’ show to their school environment, an attitude that Billy has also adopted.
Billy’s message to his teacher and peers reflects his contempt for the school system as a place of learning. The insult is final and shows that Billy will not be returning to his school. He has chosen to not belong in this restrictive environment. He loathes the curriculum, the teacher and his classmates as shown through the reference to learning about the ‘geography of Japan’, something Billy considers irrelevant and dull. This is further contrasted with the proceeding section ‘Westfield Creek’ – a place Billy loves as he goes there to read books he sometimes purchases but usually has stolen from the library. Billy calls Westfield Creek his ‘favourite classroom’. Here he is in control of his learning and can read what interests him.
However Billy’s attitude to life represents his isolation from dominant society and that this isolation is not good for him. Although he has chosen to separate himself from achieving a traditional education at school, his attitude shows he is lost and extremely unhappy. He abuses his fellow students and teacher by telling them to get ‘“well and truly stuffed’”. He wanted his teacher Mr. Cheetam to ‘chew’ on ‘Billy Luckett, / rhymes with …’”. The ellipsis replaces an expletive and represents Billy’s dissatisfaction with the dominant form of education and the way people belong in society, indeed are forced to belong due to compulsory education. The name of the teacher Mr. Cheetam is a play on the word ‘cheat’, suggesting that Billy feels that he has been cheated by the form of education he has been given at the school as indicated through the homework of geography of Japan on the board. Billy is not content. He stole the ‘K-Mart Red lipstick’, which symbolises his defiance, opposition to the oppression of the school system most people belong to and passionate nature. The offensive message on the board was obviously a premeditated act as he stole the lipstick in advance, ‘especially for this occasion’. He calls himself a 'lucky bastard’, who is able to say his farewells to the restrictive environment of his school. Later Billy realises that theft isolates him from belonging meaningfully to a group. He chooses not to steal a piece of jewelry for Caitlin, purchasing it instead, due to the realization that if he were to be caught, he would jeopardize his ability to belong in Bendarat, a place he values and feels comfortable.
Activity
Make notes about a key scene in The Simple Gift, taking into account:
• language or visual techniques
• examples of the techniques from the text
• analysis of how these examples relate to belonging.
Then write a full analysis of the scene and its techniques, and their relation to belonging.
An example of a scene has been included in the following modelled response. After you have read the modelled response, choose a different scene to analyse.
Modelled response
Key scene: Wentworth High School
Techniques and examples:
- Visual imagery of classroom/school – Principal driving her Holden out of the school grounds, the teacher leaving homework on the board, Billy’s offensive farewell written in red lipstick on the window
- Personification of wind ‘howling’ and rain ‘blowing potato crisp wrappers’
- Quote of Billy’s message to the class and teacher ‘“may you all get / well and truly stuffed”’ and ‘“ Billy Luckett, / rhymes with …”’
Analysis:
- The weather represents the depressing nature of Billy’s experiences at school and emphasise why he deliberately separates himself from this environment.
- Billy’s insulting message to his teacher and classmates sabotages any chance of him returning to belong in that environment.
- Reference to the Japanese curriculum highlights the ineffective nature of learning and why Billy chooses to not participate in school life.
- Billy chooses actions that isolate him from the school environment and society in general through stealing and abusive language.
Full analysis of how the techniques and examples represent belonging:
The dreary nature of Billy’s school environment is established at the beginning of this section through personification of the wind ‘howling’ and the rain falling in sheets ‘blowing potato crisp wrappers / across the oval.’ The composer personifies Billy’s farewell to his home through the ‘rainy afternoon / of my goodbyes.’ This accentuates the possible sadness Billy felt that he could not accept the environment he was forced to grow up in. This depressing feeling probably reflects how Billy felt about his schooling at Wentworth High School. The potato crisp packets all over the oval illustrate what students typically dispose of in the playground. These packets are now picked up by the wind, representing the lack of respect students’ show to their school environment, an attitude that Billy has also adopted.
Billy’s message to his teacher and peers reflects his contempt for the school system as a place of learning. The insult is final and shows that Billy will not be returning to his school. He has chosen to not belong in this restrictive environment. He loathes the curriculum, the teacher and his classmates as shown through the reference to learning about the ‘geography of Japan’, something Billy considers irrelevant and dull. This is further contrasted with the proceeding section ‘Westfield Creek’ – a place Billy loves as he goes there to read books he sometimes purchases but usually has stolen from the library. Billy calls Westfield Creek his ‘favourite classroom’. Here he is in control of his learning and can read what interests him.
However Billy’s attitude to life represents his isolation from dominant society and that this isolation is not good for him. Although he has chosen to separate himself from achieving a traditional education at school, his attitude shows he is lost and extremely unhappy. He abuses his fellow students and teacher by telling them to get ‘“well and truly stuffed’”. He wanted his teacher Mr. Cheetam to ‘chew’ on ‘Billy Luckett, / rhymes with …’”. The ellipsis replaces an expletive and represents Billy’s dissatisfaction with the dominant form of education and the way people belong in society, indeed are forced to belong due to compulsory education. The name of the teacher Mr. Cheetam is a play on the word ‘cheat’, suggesting that Billy feels that he has been cheated by the form of education he has been given at the school as indicated through the homework of geography of Japan on the board. Billy is not content. He stole the ‘K-Mart Red lipstick’, which symbolises his defiance, opposition to the oppression of the school system most people belong to and passionate nature. The offensive message on the board was obviously a premeditated act as he stole the lipstick in advance, ‘especially for this occasion’. He calls himself a 'lucky bastard’, who is able to say his farewells to the restrictive environment of his school. Later Billy realises that theft isolates him from belonging meaningfully to a group. He chooses not to steal a piece of jewelry for Caitlin, purchasing it instead, due to the realization that if he were to be caught, he would jeopardize his ability to belong in Bendarat, a place he values and feels comfortable.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Creative writing – Developing Ideas for Writing about Belonging
Writers use their memories and recollections constantly in their writing, but you cannot tell what is fiction and what is fact. That’s actually a good thing. It allows the writer to maintain their privacy while exploring their life in an entertaining way. Because you are writing fiction, you can add to your story whatever aspects of the narrative you want to develop – setting, characters, plot, description, etc. It’s up to you.
The following modelled response is a memory from my childhood. Playing games with my family was one way I felt a sense of belonging and connection to others. There are elements of this story that are true and elements that I have added for effect. One of the reasons why I found this easy to write was because I can imagine this scene because parts of it happened. You will notice that this form of writing is very visual. Creating clear visual images in your reader’s mind is one way to engage your audience.
This extract comes from a larger piece of writing. The extract was written to develop my character, who had just lost his father. Through the memory extract I was aiming to explore the sense of loss the character would be feeling at that particular time.
Activity: (This should take about 10 minutes to complete)
Write a description of a scene from your childhood where you felt a strong sense of belonging or not belonging. Write in the first person using the present tense. Add aspects to you description that may not have happened, for example the setting or people involved. Slowly develop the scene through creating clear visual images, which demonstrate your characters’ thoughts, actions, desires, attitudes and beliefs.
Modelled response
We are in the garden, and I am digging a hole with a stick fallen from the fig tree that shelters our entire front yard. My Dad is with me, lying in the dirt. He wipes his face with his hand, leaving a smudge of brown on his cheek. He is my war hero and we are about to go into battle. He tells me to shift the dirt into a mound. I follow his commands like a drill sergeant. We can use it for the hills he says. Bonus points if you go over the top of them. First one to hit all their marbles in the ditch wins. We both nod.
My mum calls us in for dinner. I hold my breath as my Dad hollers to her that we need another half an hour. He looks at me and I try my best to conceal my smile. This is man’s business, he tells me.
He pulls out a bag of marbles from his pocket and spills them onto the dirt. They look like chocolate jaffa lollies decorated like Easter eggs. He brushes the dirt from the tops of the marbles. I have something special for you, he says. He pulls out from his other pocket a larger marble. We call it a boulder. I squirm inside, ecstatic. It’s shiny red and has two black lightning bolts crossing each other. He holds it in between his thumb and pointer finger and twists it back and forth in front of my eyes. I let out a deep sigh. Where did you get that from? I have connections, he says. Let’s play ball.
My mum is calling now, louder and more forceful. I shrug off the interruption, jerking my shoulder up toward my ear like I’m warding off a fly. Still the noise. It’s piercing my ears, drilling a hole through my head. I look to my father, but he is gone.
The following modelled response is a memory from my childhood. Playing games with my family was one way I felt a sense of belonging and connection to others. There are elements of this story that are true and elements that I have added for effect. One of the reasons why I found this easy to write was because I can imagine this scene because parts of it happened. You will notice that this form of writing is very visual. Creating clear visual images in your reader’s mind is one way to engage your audience.
This extract comes from a larger piece of writing. The extract was written to develop my character, who had just lost his father. Through the memory extract I was aiming to explore the sense of loss the character would be feeling at that particular time.
Activity: (This should take about 10 minutes to complete)
Write a description of a scene from your childhood where you felt a strong sense of belonging or not belonging. Write in the first person using the present tense. Add aspects to you description that may not have happened, for example the setting or people involved. Slowly develop the scene through creating clear visual images, which demonstrate your characters’ thoughts, actions, desires, attitudes and beliefs.
Modelled response
We are in the garden, and I am digging a hole with a stick fallen from the fig tree that shelters our entire front yard. My Dad is with me, lying in the dirt. He wipes his face with his hand, leaving a smudge of brown on his cheek. He is my war hero and we are about to go into battle. He tells me to shift the dirt into a mound. I follow his commands like a drill sergeant. We can use it for the hills he says. Bonus points if you go over the top of them. First one to hit all their marbles in the ditch wins. We both nod.
My mum calls us in for dinner. I hold my breath as my Dad hollers to her that we need another half an hour. He looks at me and I try my best to conceal my smile. This is man’s business, he tells me.
He pulls out a bag of marbles from his pocket and spills them onto the dirt. They look like chocolate jaffa lollies decorated like Easter eggs. He brushes the dirt from the tops of the marbles. I have something special for you, he says. He pulls out from his other pocket a larger marble. We call it a boulder. I squirm inside, ecstatic. It’s shiny red and has two black lightning bolts crossing each other. He holds it in between his thumb and pointer finger and twists it back and forth in front of my eyes. I let out a deep sigh. Where did you get that from? I have connections, he says. Let’s play ball.
My mum is calling now, louder and more forceful. I shrug off the interruption, jerking my shoulder up toward my ear like I’m warding off a fly. Still the noise. It’s piercing my ears, drilling a hole through my head. I look to my father, but he is gone.
Sunday, September 7, 2008
Related Text: 'Welcome Stranger'
Appreciating the Concept of 'Belonging'
Text title: ‘Welcome, Stranger’
Author: Stephanie Dowrick
Text type: Newspaper article
Source: Sydney Morning Herald, Good Weekend, Inner Life, p68
August 23, 2008
‘Welcome Stranger’ by Stephanie Dowrick
(text copied from original article published in ‘Inner Life, Good Weekend’)
Do you give much thought to whether you are an “includer” by nature – or not? This is something we can easily fail to develop in ourselves and may not value or develop in our children. Yet the capacity and willingness to think about others and include them makes a profound difference for people of all ages. It could be a child at pre-school who is willing to share, an adult at a party who keeps an eye out for anyone standing on their own, a colleague who will take the time to show a newcomer around the workplace, or someone happy to draw others out and help them feel affirmed and welcome. In so many situations a moment of generosity and thoughtfulness can make all the difference between someone feeling like an outsider, with all the agonies that can produce, and feeling included.
The image of a child standing alone in a crowded playground, without the protection of company and friends, haunts many adults. Feeling included is vital for our emotional health and wellbeing and it will affect dramatically how we think about other people as well as ourselves. It will also affect whether we see the world as essentially friendly or hostile. Because most of us underestimate our own personal power and overestimate other people’s, we are likely to spend far more time worrying about being left out rather than whether and how we are including others. Yet this is always a complex dance. We have chances to be included; we have at least as many chances to offer that vital sense of inclusion to others.
Behaving in ways that are welcoming and inclusive lifts our own spirits – at any age. In fact being actively inclusive and friendly does wonders for most people’s personal and social confidence. Nevertheless, there will always be some people who remain fearful that reaching out to others will make them seem needy or vulnerable.
Even more disastrously, some of the most common and hurtful power plays between people depend on various forms of shunning that give a select group of people a sense of belonging at the expense of others. This happens so commonly we may think it is inevitable, but these are socially learned behaviours that can only flourish when they are condoned. They depend on an intrinsically self-centred view of the world and a grave misunderstanding of what personal power really means. What’s more, no one really feels good about being included when the basis for this is excluding others. On the contrary, as any schoolgirl can affirm, whenever exile hovers, there will always be an undertow of fear that makes such conditional belonging a dark and uncomfortable experience.
It’s tempting to believe that other people have an easier time feeling part of things than we do. Yet being real about our own insecurities should help us see how common they are and what we could do about them. In fact, honesty about our own social vulnerability creates a good basis for empathy and can give us the courage to be proactive rather than daunted. Acknowledging your power to bring other people in rather than leave them out already makes a difference.
I am amazed at how many people complain about feeling left out or overlooked while never considering how they might save others from similar experiences. Including others is a win-win situation: great for them, great for ourselves. Some people are naturally attuned to others, always keeping an eye out for those on the margins or those feeling new or unsure in any social situation. They are society’s treasures and we can all learn from them.
An easy sense of belonging is essential to feeling safe, inwardly and outwardly. Whatever our age or status, we are free to appreciate that sense of belonging and to offer it freely to others. It is an exceptionally uplifting way to move through the world. GW
Permission has been granted to the creator of the blog by Stephanie Dowrick for publication on this blog – http://belongingareaofstudy, with the knowledge that it will be used by HSC students and English teachers.
Activity
Read the artcice above.
1. Write down one main sentence which summarises the composer’s opinion about belonging.
2. What are the consequences of belonging/not belonging according to the composer for the following people:
a) Those who include others?
b) Those who do not include others?
3. The composer is suggesting that including someone who is an outsider is an easy way to make someone feel good about themselves.
a) Can you think of a time in your life when someone has gone out of his/her way to include you in an environment or situation that was foreign to you?
b) What happened? How were you included?
c) How did the experience feel?
d) What was the outcome?
e) What would you change/remain the same about that situation if you had the opportunity?
4. The composer is also suggesting the people often shun others to develop their own sense of power and sense of belonging.
a) Can you think of a time in your life when you deliberately excluded someone in an environment or situation that was foreign to the person?
b) What happened? How did you exclude the person?
c) How did the experience feel for you?
d) What do you think was the impact of your actions on the person you excluded?
e) What was the outcome?
f) What would you change/remain the same about that situation if you had the opportunity?
5. The composer puts forward a strong argument for taking time to include others in society so they feel a sense of belonging.
a) Put forward one criticism of her argument.
b) Put forward another aspect to the argument that would complement her ideas.
6. How has your understanding of belonging developed as a result of reading this article?
Text title: ‘Welcome, Stranger’
Author: Stephanie Dowrick
Text type: Newspaper article
Source: Sydney Morning Herald, Good Weekend, Inner Life, p68
August 23, 2008
‘Welcome Stranger’ by Stephanie Dowrick
(text copied from original article published in ‘Inner Life, Good Weekend’)
Do you give much thought to whether you are an “includer” by nature – or not? This is something we can easily fail to develop in ourselves and may not value or develop in our children. Yet the capacity and willingness to think about others and include them makes a profound difference for people of all ages. It could be a child at pre-school who is willing to share, an adult at a party who keeps an eye out for anyone standing on their own, a colleague who will take the time to show a newcomer around the workplace, or someone happy to draw others out and help them feel affirmed and welcome. In so many situations a moment of generosity and thoughtfulness can make all the difference between someone feeling like an outsider, with all the agonies that can produce, and feeling included.
The image of a child standing alone in a crowded playground, without the protection of company and friends, haunts many adults. Feeling included is vital for our emotional health and wellbeing and it will affect dramatically how we think about other people as well as ourselves. It will also affect whether we see the world as essentially friendly or hostile. Because most of us underestimate our own personal power and overestimate other people’s, we are likely to spend far more time worrying about being left out rather than whether and how we are including others. Yet this is always a complex dance. We have chances to be included; we have at least as many chances to offer that vital sense of inclusion to others.
Behaving in ways that are welcoming and inclusive lifts our own spirits – at any age. In fact being actively inclusive and friendly does wonders for most people’s personal and social confidence. Nevertheless, there will always be some people who remain fearful that reaching out to others will make them seem needy or vulnerable.
Even more disastrously, some of the most common and hurtful power plays between people depend on various forms of shunning that give a select group of people a sense of belonging at the expense of others. This happens so commonly we may think it is inevitable, but these are socially learned behaviours that can only flourish when they are condoned. They depend on an intrinsically self-centred view of the world and a grave misunderstanding of what personal power really means. What’s more, no one really feels good about being included when the basis for this is excluding others. On the contrary, as any schoolgirl can affirm, whenever exile hovers, there will always be an undertow of fear that makes such conditional belonging a dark and uncomfortable experience.
It’s tempting to believe that other people have an easier time feeling part of things than we do. Yet being real about our own insecurities should help us see how common they are and what we could do about them. In fact, honesty about our own social vulnerability creates a good basis for empathy and can give us the courage to be proactive rather than daunted. Acknowledging your power to bring other people in rather than leave them out already makes a difference.
I am amazed at how many people complain about feeling left out or overlooked while never considering how they might save others from similar experiences. Including others is a win-win situation: great for them, great for ourselves. Some people are naturally attuned to others, always keeping an eye out for those on the margins or those feeling new or unsure in any social situation. They are society’s treasures and we can all learn from them.
An easy sense of belonging is essential to feeling safe, inwardly and outwardly. Whatever our age or status, we are free to appreciate that sense of belonging and to offer it freely to others. It is an exceptionally uplifting way to move through the world. GW
Permission has been granted to the creator of the blog by Stephanie Dowrick for publication on this blog – http://belongingareaofstudy, with the knowledge that it will be used by HSC students and English teachers.
Activity
Read the artcice above.
1. Write down one main sentence which summarises the composer’s opinion about belonging.
2. What are the consequences of belonging/not belonging according to the composer for the following people:
a) Those who include others?
b) Those who do not include others?
3. The composer is suggesting that including someone who is an outsider is an easy way to make someone feel good about themselves.
a) Can you think of a time in your life when someone has gone out of his/her way to include you in an environment or situation that was foreign to you?
b) What happened? How were you included?
c) How did the experience feel?
d) What was the outcome?
e) What would you change/remain the same about that situation if you had the opportunity?
4. The composer is also suggesting the people often shun others to develop their own sense of power and sense of belonging.
a) Can you think of a time in your life when you deliberately excluded someone in an environment or situation that was foreign to the person?
b) What happened? How did you exclude the person?
c) How did the experience feel for you?
d) What do you think was the impact of your actions on the person you excluded?
e) What was the outcome?
f) What would you change/remain the same about that situation if you had the opportunity?
5. The composer puts forward a strong argument for taking time to include others in society so they feel a sense of belonging.
a) Put forward one criticism of her argument.
b) Put forward another aspect to the argument that would complement her ideas.
6. How has your understanding of belonging developed as a result of reading this article?
Related Text: 'Drifters'
Appreciating the concept of ‘Belonging’
Text title: ‘Drifters’
Text type: Poem
Composer: Bruce Dawe
Source: Sometimes Gladness, Collected Poems, 1954-1982, p91
Activity
1. Read the poem and annotate ideas relating to the concept of ‘belonging’. Discuss
2. Brainstorm ideas relating to the following questions:
a) How do people belong/not belong in this poem?
b) What are the consequences of belonging/not belonging in this poem?
c) How has your understanding of belonging developed as a result of reading this poem?
d) Analyse how 4 techniques explore the concept of belonging.
Text title: ‘Drifters’
Text type: Poem
Composer: Bruce Dawe
Source: Sometimes Gladness, Collected Poems, 1954-1982, p91
Activity
1. Read the poem and annotate ideas relating to the concept of ‘belonging’. Discuss
2. Brainstorm ideas relating to the following questions:
a) How do people belong/not belong in this poem?
b) What are the consequences of belonging/not belonging in this poem?
c) How has your understanding of belonging developed as a result of reading this poem?
d) Analyse how 4 techniques explore the concept of belonging.
Belonging Workshop
The following is an outline of the workshop I conducted promoting the textbook. The handout also previews the process I underwent in developing teaching strategies suitable for the Area of Study: Belonging. Perhaps it may help you.
The handout given to teachers participating in the workshop is as follows:
Aim of workshop:
To assist teachers in the development of teaching strategies suitable for writing in Paper 1 of the HSC examination: Area of Study – Belonging
Outline of workshop:
Syllabus requirements for Sections 1-3 of the HSC Examination
Approaches to teaching the Area of Study – Belonging
Learning strategies for teaching content and skills related to the Area of Study: Belonging in the text book
Practical issues: The examination paper, prescribed texts and related material
Format of workshop
Explanation of syllabus requirements, content to be addressed and skills taught
Participant activities – brainstorming, questions, reflection on content and skills
Participant development of teaching strategies
Sample learning strategies for teaching content and skills based on research in Belonging textbook
Discussion on the examination paper, suitability of prescribed texts for students needs and sourcing related material.
Syllabus Requirements
Unseen texts
In Paper 1, Section 1 of the HSC English exam, students are required to answer questions about visual and written texts that they have probably not seen or studied before. The questions require students to examine, question, reflect on and speculate on (i.e. think about to form an opinion):
• What is being said about belonging
• How the concept of belonging is conveyed in texts through visual and written language
• An understanding of the way perceptions of belonging are shaped in and through texts
• Assumptions about belonging underlying the texts.
Creative writing
In Paper 1, Section 2 of the HSC examination, students are required to respond to and compose a range of complex and imaginative texts, demonstrating effective communication. By studying various composers and text types, students will develop an understanding of the way composers shape their ideas using language forms and features, and text structures.
Students are required to demonstrate:
· Effective communication
· Engaging ideas
· An exploration of the concept of belonging
· Appropriate structure of imaginative writing
Analytical writing
In Paper 1, Section 3 of the HSC examination, students will be asked to write an analytical response to one question about the concept of belonging. Students may be asked to write in a specific text type or form, such as an essay or speech.
Students are required to:
· Write about how the composers represent the concept of belonging by referring to the prescribed text and related texts of their own choosing
· Analyse how meaning is created through the text’s form, and through the language and/or visual features of each text.
Approach to teaching Area of Study: Belonging
So how do you prepare students for success in the HSC? There are three key areas to begin with:
The concept of belonging
The content
Skills
· Concept of belonging:
Question: What do you need to teach students about the concept of belonging?
- What is belonging/not belonging?
- Connotations of belonging/not belonging
- How do people belong/not belong in society (within various groups - families, peer relationships, schools, religion, etc)?
- Consequences of belonging/not belonging
Content:
Question: What information do you need to teach students about the content of the course? Consider the following sections of the HSC examination:
- Section 1: Unseen texts
- Section 2: Creative writing
- Section 3: Analytical writing
Analysis of unseen texts
- Key terms
- Types of HSC style questions
- Types of visual and language texts about belonging
- How to answer types of questions
- Meaning of visual and language techniques
Analysis of creative writing texts
- Types of HSC style questions
- Structure of imaginative texts
- Creative writing techniques (point of view, narrative voice, figurative language, characterization, setting, etc)
Analysis of key elements of prescribed text and related texts
- Key terms
- How text relates to belonging
- Text structure
- Characters
- Setting
- Language and visual techniques
Skills:
Question: What skills do you need to teach students to write successful responses in the HSC examination? Consider the following sections of the HSC examination:
- Section 1: Unseen texts
- Section 2: Creative writing
- Section 3: Analytical writing
Unseen texts
- understanding types of questions (‘what’, ‘how’ and ‘synthesis’)
- reading unseen texts
- inferring ideas about belonging
- listening for ideas about belonging
- interpreting belonging texts
- how to structure responses for types of questions
- Understanding the concept of belonging in texts
- Analysing techniques (technique, example and explanation/analysis)
Creative writing
- How to structure imaginative responses
- Writing in different text types (journal, short story, speech, etc)
- Effective use of sentence structure (variety of sentences, types of sentences)
- Appropriate word choice
- Imaginative writing
- Appropriate paragraphs
- Development of ideas
- Character development
- Narrative voice
- Point of view (first, second, third person)
- Type of language (formal, informal, colloquial)
- Use of figurative language (metaphors, similes, etc)
Analytical writing
- Understanding of types of question
- Understanding of key terms
- Reading analytically
- Effective use of sentence structure (variety of sentences, types of sentences)
- Appropriate word choice
- Appropriate paragraphs
- How to structure analytical responses (thesis statement, developing paragraphs, thesis reinforcement)
- Development of ideas
- How to write about the concept of belonging through reference to prescribed text and related texts (accurate reference to elements of text, relevant examples, appropriate use of language and or visual techniques, explanation/analysis of text)
- How to link prescribed text and related texts
Learning strategies for teaching content and skills related to the Area of Study: Belonging in the book
Question: Identify learning strategies you would use to teach the content and skills necessary for students to write successful responses for the 3 sections in Paper 1 of HSC examination?
Unseen texts:
· Outline of Syllabus requirements (see above)
· Explanation of key terms
Purpose Why a text has been created
Audience Persons a text has been created for
· Explanation of types of HSC style examination questions
‘What’-type questions: These questions require you to identify one or more of the
following:
- the type of belonging represented (e.g. belonging to a group, community, society, place, time, etc)
- the purpose of the text
- the audience of the text
- the concept of belonging represented.
· Read and analyse a language and visual text representing belonging through annotation/discussion questions
Text 1: Visual text From The Arrival by Shaun Tan
from Shaun Tan, The Arrival, Hachette Livre, Sydney, 2006
· Modeled response – answers to various questions
1. What type of belonging is represented in this text? (I mark)
(This question requires a simple but appropriate answer. It is only worth 1 mark, so it i
not necessary to elaborate on your ideas.)
Modelled response
Although the people in this image seem to belong together as they are on a journey together, they also appear to be disengaged and separate from each other as they are lost in their own thoughts.
· Writing activity based on modeled response explanations and modeled responses
Analyse a different text representing belonging. Give students a similar set of questions you analysed as a class.
Creative Writing
· Explanation of syllabus requirements (see above)
· Explanation of types of questions in the HSC examination
Sample HSC-style questions include:
1. ‘Belonging is essential to a person’s understanding of themselves.’
Use this statement as the basis for a piece of writing.
· Freewriting activities with modeled response (develops ideas, skills in figurative writing)
Sight memories
3 When we see something from our past it can trigger a memory. A childhood doll or train set can take a person back to a particular time in their life. Although we may not remember everything about that memory, we can piece together significant information to write about. Memories can be happy, sad, bitter or sweet. Write a paragraph by free writing about a memory from your childhood triggered by some special item.
Modelled response
I am in the middle of my grandparents’ backyard, immersed in water in a painted pink aluminium bucket, the kind that was used for washing clothes before we had washing machines. I have managed to squeeze my legs into the bucket and my bare torso is popping out the top. I am giggling foolishly, splashing the water up and out at my family who dare to pass me by.
Student response:
· Free association activity with modeled responses (develops ideas and imaginative writing)
Word association by sound
1 Choose one of the following words related to belonging or not belonging. What words come into your mind that relate to the sound of each word? Write down as many as you can think of.
• inhabit
• affinity
• secure
• abandoned
• place
• comfort
• alienation
Modelled response
Word: alienation
Sound association: always, natural, station, lean, alcohol, elation, alfalfa, light
Word:
Sound association:
· Analysis of photographs and film stills (develops characterization, setting, point of view, etc)
Writing characters
Characterisation is the total of all we can see in a human being. It encompasses all aspects of humanity we could scrutinise in a character. To make characters real to the audience, you can give them emotions and mannerisms that people can relate to.
Activity
Look at the image of a character (see textbook).
Orlando/Three Lions/Getty Images
1 In point form, describe the character’s facial features, mannerisms and body language.
Suggested answer
• lazily holding a cigarette
• head turned
• uninterested
• voluptuous lips
• graffiti brick wall
• slouched body
• defiant eyes
2 Write three sentences describing that character at that point in time. Use your brainstorm notes above.
Modelled response
The boy slouches against the concrete wall, which is chalked in graffiti. The ash grows as an extension of the cigarette as he forgets to take a puff, so consumed is he by the scuffle developing beside him. He thinks of his father driving his truck
through the early morning fog and how he hasn’t seen him for weeks.
· Create storyboards (to develop ideas, plot, turning points, characterisation, setting, etc)
Activity
1 Create a storyboard about the concept of belonging or not belonging, where one person is trying to either remain in a group or get out of a group. In each square, draw what is happening. Show who these people are and why they are behaving the way they are. Then write a description of the shot and the film techniques used under each drawing.
Before you begin, brainstorm some answers to the following questions to establish your storyboard narrative.
a What happens?
b Does the person belong to a group, or are they isolated?
c How does their belonging or isolation happen?
d Why does this happen?
e How do the characters feel about these events?
f What are the turning points in your storyboard? How do the choices you made abut where you placed the turning points in your storyboard affect the excitement of your scene?
Analytical writing
· Explanation of syllabus requirements (see above)
· Explanation of key terms
Compare Identify and explain similarities represented in textual features in two or more texts
· Explanation of types of HSC style questions
Despite an individual’s desire to belong to a group or community, this is not always possible.
How do the texts you have studied represent the processes and results of belonging?
· Explanation of structure of a analytical response
Introduction or thesis statement
• Write one or two lead-in sentences which address the question and establish your thesis or argument.
• Identify the texts to be analysed, including the names of their composers.
• Outline how the texts to be discussed link to the question and your thesis.
· Explanation of language features of an analytical text
Narrative mode
First-person narrative is used when you are invited to give a personal response, for
example, in a speech or an opinion piece. First person is indicated by words such as me,
us, I, we, ours, etc.
Example:
At this stage, we begin to wonder.
· Plan of an analytical response including modeled responses
Introduction
Points for first body paragraph/ second body paragraph, and so on
- Topic sentence
- Main points
- Key quotes
Conclusion
Modeled response: Body paragraphs
‘Strictly Ballroom’ successfully creates humour by satirising aspects of the ballroom dancing world, showing the restrictions placed on the individual’s desire for self-expression and individuality. The opening scene highlights a fantasy world, depicting silhouettes of ballroom dancers gracefully dancing to the famous waltz, ‘The Blue Danube’, followed by images of the glitzy and glamorous dancers in their brilliant costumes. It is a world the audience is set up to admire: we would all would like to belong to it. Or would we? …
· Student writing activity based on explanations and modeled responses
If you have studied ‘Strictly Ballroom, use the modelled response as a guide to write a plan for the next three body paragraphs. On a separate piece of paper, write the paragraphs in full, using your notes.
Fourth body paragraph
Topic sentence:
Main points:
Key quotes:
Teaching the prescribed text
· Explanation on background information (context, purpose and audience)
Context The screenplay of Strictly Ballroom was written by Baz Luhrmann and Andrew Bovell. The film was directed by Baz Luhrmann, and was well received internationally when it was released in 1992. Since Strictly Ballroom, Baz Luhrmann has directed two other internationally successful films—Romeo + Juliet and Moulin Rouge—and, at time of print, was directing Australia. He is known for his artistic and innovative cinematic styles which blend film techniques from Hollywood musicals and dance films with more traditional techniques.
· Explanation of key terms (see above)
· Analysis of how the text relates to belonging
Rebellion, exclusion and true ‘belonging’
The film opens at the Waratah Championships for ballroom dancing where Scott Hastings dares to dance his own steps, dazzling the audience with his samba routine. Those who value tradition—mainly his mother, his dance coach Les Kendall, and Barry Fife—abhor his behaviour. They are united in their opposition to Scott’s rebellion and prevent him from exploring his individuality, because the traditional world of ballroom dancing gives them a sense of belonging, and they do not wish for this to change. Changing the established order is difficult, because people in power make the rules and are responsible for ensuring they are followed. Therefore when Scott dances his own steps he is disqualified and prevented from participating in the competition. He is excluded from the group and his sense of belonging is devastated.
· Students answer the question: How do you relate your prescribed text to belonging?
· Explanation of Text structure
Text structure
The film can be divided into four parts.
Part 1
The traditional values of the ballroom dancing world are established though the opening scene at the Waratah Championships for ballroom dancing where Scott Hastings dances his own steps during the samba. His partner, Liz Holt, walks out on him and Fran, an unlikely candidate, offers to be his dance partner. The love story is thus established between the handsome, competent dance champion and the plain, professionally untrained daughter of a Spanish migrant. She entices Scott to dance with her because she understands how he dances.
· Explanation of Characters
Scott Hastings: Scott is youthful, handsome and a champion dancer, and has many opportunities ahead of him. At first he is portrayed as arrogant, especially in his treatment of Fran. He is obviously a talented dancer, but is bored with the routine way he has been taught to dance. He challenges his mother and the Dance Federation when they insist he follows established conventions. He undergoes a transformation through his relationships with Fran and her family, as he learns the value of family spirit and dancing from the heart.
· Character activity – analyzing what quotes tell the reader about the character and belonging
Character quote
What the quote tells you about the character and belonging
Liz: I don’t think! I don’t give a shit about them, we lost!
Liz represents the dominant values of those who belong to the ballroom dancing world – follow established rules in order to win. Winning is the priority - not thinking for yourself or consideration of others.
· Explanation of Setting and modeled response
Scene: The living room of Scott’s home
Mood: This is a domestic setting which at first appears warm and inviting. Trophies are proudly displayed on the back wall. It becomes clear from Shirley’s outrage about her son’s unconventional steps at the Waratah Championships, however, that her priority is winning, not her son’s self-expression. This is further illustrated by the large number of trophies occupying the cabinet. Arguments take place in the living room, too, which shows that the family is not as close as the setting would suggest.
· Explanation and analysis of various language and visual techniques and modeled responses
Symbolism: Dancing shoes
How it relates to belonging: In the scene in which Rico challenges Scott to dance the paso doble, there are close-ups of Scott’s shoes while he dances. When Ya Ya asks him to show her where he feels the rhythm, the camera focuses on Scott’s shoes. The viewer becomes aware that Scott’s motivation to dance comes from learning the intricacies of making the steps, which is what has made him belong in the rigid ballroom dancing world. When Ya Ya taps his chest to show him where the rhythm should come from, we understand that he has a lot to learn from Spanish culture. Dancing shoes are also shown in close-up when Scott dances, especially when he dances his own way, illustrating his freedom and individual expression, and his rebellion against a restrictive type of ‘belonging’.
· Key scene analysis
To gain a better understanding of how language and visual techniques work together to create meaning, it is a good idea to analyse a few key scenes from the text.
Activity
Make notes about a key scene in Strictly Ballroom, taking into account:
• film techniques and dialogue
• examples of the techniques from the text
• analysis of how these examples relate to belonging.
Then write a full analysis of the scene and its techniques, and their relation to belonging.
Modeled response
Many scenes in ‘Strictly Ballroom’ represent the ideas of the true spirit of love, family and belonging, in contrast to the false values and superficiality of belonging to the ballroom dancing world. One key scene is when Scott goes to the Toledo Milk Bar to ask Fran to dance with him at the Pan Pacific Grand Prix. Fran’s father challenges Scott to dance the paso doble, and they move to the backyard where chairs are askew, streamers are falling down and colourful lanterns hang from the roof. The lighting is low-key and the atmosphere is romantic, warm and inviting. In this environment, Scott is ridiculed for not dancing from the heart. Close-ups of people laughing are juxtaposed with long shots of Fran and Scott dancing, showing that the onlookers are laughing at the way he dances.
Practical Issues
Examination Paper
- A full emanation paper is included in the book with sample questions, belonging texts, question rubrics, marking guidelines and modelled responses.
Marking guidelines for Section I
Text 1: Cartoon
a i What comment is the composer making about depression in this cartoon?
(1 mark)
Criteria
Marks
Comments on or gives an opinion about what the composer is saying about depression
1
Possible answers
You can quote directly from the cartoon, or paraphrase (write in your own words).
• One in four people suffer from depression.
• People are unaware of other people suffering from depression.
• The news is what causes depression.
Appropriateness of each text for student skills, abilities and interests - a suggestion
The prescribed texts are:
• The Joy Luck Club by Amy Tan (prose fiction)
(Recommendation: female audience and probably advanced class.)
• The Namesake by Jhumpa Lahiri (prose fiction)
(Recommendation: male/female audience and probably an advanced class)
• Great Expectations by Charles Dickens (prose fiction)
(Recommendation: male/female audience and definitely an advanced class)
• Heat and Dust by Ruth Prawer Jhabvala (prose fiction)
(Recommendation: male/female audience and probably a standard class)
• Swallow the Air by Tara June Winch (prose fiction)
(Recommendation: male/female audience and an advanced or standard class)
• Romulus, My Father by Raimond Gaita (non fiction)
(Recommendation: male/female audience and probably an advanced class)
• The Crucible by Arthur Miller (drama)
(Recommendation: male/female audience and an advanced or standard class)
• Rainbow’s End by Jane Harrison (drama)
(Recommendation: male/female audience and probably a standard class)
• Strictly Ballroom by Baz Luhrmann (film)
(Recommendation: male/female audience and probably a standard class)
• Ten Canoes by Rolf de Heer (film)
(Recommendation: male/female audience and probably an advanced or standard class)
• As You Like It by William Shakespeare (Shakespeare)
(Recommendation: male/female audience and probably a standard class)
• Immigrant Chronicle by Peter Skrzynecki (poetry)
(Recommendation: male/female audience and probably an advanced class)
• Selected Poems of Emily Dickinson by Emily Dickinson (poetry)
(Recommendation: male/female audience and probably an advanced class)
• The Simple Gift by Steven Herrick (poetry).
(Recommendation: male/female audience and probably a standard class)
Related material
Where to find appropriate material
- internet/google
- newspapers/magazines
- education textbooks
- own knowledge
- from past Area of Study HSC papers and resources
Related texts in the text book
- Visual text – Extract from ‘The Arrival’, by Shaun Tan
- Essay - Extract from ‘Dreams beyond the quarter-acre’, by Hugh Mackay (The Sydney Morning Herald, Weekend Edition February 23-24, 2008, p34)
- Poem - Muslim Woman, Carlton, by John Mateer
- Short story – Extract from ‘Slow Cycle’, by Nerida Wayland
- Visual text – Gety image of boy holding a cigarette
- Visual text – Lord of the Rings by Peter Jackson
- Visual text - Shaun Tan’s The Red Tree
- Visual text – Leunig cartoon
- Reflective journal extract by Sorell Wilby
- The Redfern Speech by Paul Keating
- Poem by Nanushka
- Poem - Urban Black by Lionel Fogart,y 1995
- Quotes from http://quotes.zaadz.com/topics/belonging
The handout given to teachers participating in the workshop is as follows:
Aim of workshop:
To assist teachers in the development of teaching strategies suitable for writing in Paper 1 of the HSC examination: Area of Study – Belonging
Outline of workshop:
Syllabus requirements for Sections 1-3 of the HSC Examination
Approaches to teaching the Area of Study – Belonging
Learning strategies for teaching content and skills related to the Area of Study: Belonging in the text book
Practical issues: The examination paper, prescribed texts and related material
Format of workshop
Explanation of syllabus requirements, content to be addressed and skills taught
Participant activities – brainstorming, questions, reflection on content and skills
Participant development of teaching strategies
Sample learning strategies for teaching content and skills based on research in Belonging textbook
Discussion on the examination paper, suitability of prescribed texts for students needs and sourcing related material.
Syllabus Requirements
Unseen texts
In Paper 1, Section 1 of the HSC English exam, students are required to answer questions about visual and written texts that they have probably not seen or studied before. The questions require students to examine, question, reflect on and speculate on (i.e. think about to form an opinion):
• What is being said about belonging
• How the concept of belonging is conveyed in texts through visual and written language
• An understanding of the way perceptions of belonging are shaped in and through texts
• Assumptions about belonging underlying the texts.
Creative writing
In Paper 1, Section 2 of the HSC examination, students are required to respond to and compose a range of complex and imaginative texts, demonstrating effective communication. By studying various composers and text types, students will develop an understanding of the way composers shape their ideas using language forms and features, and text structures.
Students are required to demonstrate:
· Effective communication
· Engaging ideas
· An exploration of the concept of belonging
· Appropriate structure of imaginative writing
Analytical writing
In Paper 1, Section 3 of the HSC examination, students will be asked to write an analytical response to one question about the concept of belonging. Students may be asked to write in a specific text type or form, such as an essay or speech.
Students are required to:
· Write about how the composers represent the concept of belonging by referring to the prescribed text and related texts of their own choosing
· Analyse how meaning is created through the text’s form, and through the language and/or visual features of each text.
Approach to teaching Area of Study: Belonging
So how do you prepare students for success in the HSC? There are three key areas to begin with:
The concept of belonging
The content
Skills
· Concept of belonging:
Question: What do you need to teach students about the concept of belonging?
- What is belonging/not belonging?
- Connotations of belonging/not belonging
- How do people belong/not belong in society (within various groups - families, peer relationships, schools, religion, etc)?
- Consequences of belonging/not belonging
Content:
Question: What information do you need to teach students about the content of the course? Consider the following sections of the HSC examination:
- Section 1: Unseen texts
- Section 2: Creative writing
- Section 3: Analytical writing
Analysis of unseen texts
- Key terms
- Types of HSC style questions
- Types of visual and language texts about belonging
- How to answer types of questions
- Meaning of visual and language techniques
Analysis of creative writing texts
- Types of HSC style questions
- Structure of imaginative texts
- Creative writing techniques (point of view, narrative voice, figurative language, characterization, setting, etc)
Analysis of key elements of prescribed text and related texts
- Key terms
- How text relates to belonging
- Text structure
- Characters
- Setting
- Language and visual techniques
Skills:
Question: What skills do you need to teach students to write successful responses in the HSC examination? Consider the following sections of the HSC examination:
- Section 1: Unseen texts
- Section 2: Creative writing
- Section 3: Analytical writing
Unseen texts
- understanding types of questions (‘what’, ‘how’ and ‘synthesis’)
- reading unseen texts
- inferring ideas about belonging
- listening for ideas about belonging
- interpreting belonging texts
- how to structure responses for types of questions
- Understanding the concept of belonging in texts
- Analysing techniques (technique, example and explanation/analysis)
Creative writing
- How to structure imaginative responses
- Writing in different text types (journal, short story, speech, etc)
- Effective use of sentence structure (variety of sentences, types of sentences)
- Appropriate word choice
- Imaginative writing
- Appropriate paragraphs
- Development of ideas
- Character development
- Narrative voice
- Point of view (first, second, third person)
- Type of language (formal, informal, colloquial)
- Use of figurative language (metaphors, similes, etc)
Analytical writing
- Understanding of types of question
- Understanding of key terms
- Reading analytically
- Effective use of sentence structure (variety of sentences, types of sentences)
- Appropriate word choice
- Appropriate paragraphs
- How to structure analytical responses (thesis statement, developing paragraphs, thesis reinforcement)
- Development of ideas
- How to write about the concept of belonging through reference to prescribed text and related texts (accurate reference to elements of text, relevant examples, appropriate use of language and or visual techniques, explanation/analysis of text)
- How to link prescribed text and related texts
Learning strategies for teaching content and skills related to the Area of Study: Belonging in the book
Question: Identify learning strategies you would use to teach the content and skills necessary for students to write successful responses for the 3 sections in Paper 1 of HSC examination?
Unseen texts:
· Outline of Syllabus requirements (see above)
· Explanation of key terms
Purpose Why a text has been created
Audience Persons a text has been created for
· Explanation of types of HSC style examination questions
‘What’-type questions: These questions require you to identify one or more of the
following:
- the type of belonging represented (e.g. belonging to a group, community, society, place, time, etc)
- the purpose of the text
- the audience of the text
- the concept of belonging represented.
· Read and analyse a language and visual text representing belonging through annotation/discussion questions
Text 1: Visual text From The Arrival by Shaun Tan
from Shaun Tan, The Arrival, Hachette Livre, Sydney, 2006
· Modeled response – answers to various questions
1. What type of belonging is represented in this text? (I mark)
(This question requires a simple but appropriate answer. It is only worth 1 mark, so it i
not necessary to elaborate on your ideas.)
Modelled response
Although the people in this image seem to belong together as they are on a journey together, they also appear to be disengaged and separate from each other as they are lost in their own thoughts.
· Writing activity based on modeled response explanations and modeled responses
Analyse a different text representing belonging. Give students a similar set of questions you analysed as a class.
Creative Writing
· Explanation of syllabus requirements (see above)
· Explanation of types of questions in the HSC examination
Sample HSC-style questions include:
1. ‘Belonging is essential to a person’s understanding of themselves.’
Use this statement as the basis for a piece of writing.
· Freewriting activities with modeled response (develops ideas, skills in figurative writing)
Sight memories
3 When we see something from our past it can trigger a memory. A childhood doll or train set can take a person back to a particular time in their life. Although we may not remember everything about that memory, we can piece together significant information to write about. Memories can be happy, sad, bitter or sweet. Write a paragraph by free writing about a memory from your childhood triggered by some special item.
Modelled response
I am in the middle of my grandparents’ backyard, immersed in water in a painted pink aluminium bucket, the kind that was used for washing clothes before we had washing machines. I have managed to squeeze my legs into the bucket and my bare torso is popping out the top. I am giggling foolishly, splashing the water up and out at my family who dare to pass me by.
Student response:
· Free association activity with modeled responses (develops ideas and imaginative writing)
Word association by sound
1 Choose one of the following words related to belonging or not belonging. What words come into your mind that relate to the sound of each word? Write down as many as you can think of.
• inhabit
• affinity
• secure
• abandoned
• place
• comfort
• alienation
Modelled response
Word: alienation
Sound association: always, natural, station, lean, alcohol, elation, alfalfa, light
Word:
Sound association:
· Analysis of photographs and film stills (develops characterization, setting, point of view, etc)
Writing characters
Characterisation is the total of all we can see in a human being. It encompasses all aspects of humanity we could scrutinise in a character. To make characters real to the audience, you can give them emotions and mannerisms that people can relate to.
Activity
Look at the image of a character (see textbook).
Orlando/Three Lions/Getty Images
1 In point form, describe the character’s facial features, mannerisms and body language.
Suggested answer
• lazily holding a cigarette
• head turned
• uninterested
• voluptuous lips
• graffiti brick wall
• slouched body
• defiant eyes
2 Write three sentences describing that character at that point in time. Use your brainstorm notes above.
Modelled response
The boy slouches against the concrete wall, which is chalked in graffiti. The ash grows as an extension of the cigarette as he forgets to take a puff, so consumed is he by the scuffle developing beside him. He thinks of his father driving his truck
through the early morning fog and how he hasn’t seen him for weeks.
· Create storyboards (to develop ideas, plot, turning points, characterisation, setting, etc)
Activity
1 Create a storyboard about the concept of belonging or not belonging, where one person is trying to either remain in a group or get out of a group. In each square, draw what is happening. Show who these people are and why they are behaving the way they are. Then write a description of the shot and the film techniques used under each drawing.
Before you begin, brainstorm some answers to the following questions to establish your storyboard narrative.
a What happens?
b Does the person belong to a group, or are they isolated?
c How does their belonging or isolation happen?
d Why does this happen?
e How do the characters feel about these events?
f What are the turning points in your storyboard? How do the choices you made abut where you placed the turning points in your storyboard affect the excitement of your scene?
Analytical writing
· Explanation of syllabus requirements (see above)
· Explanation of key terms
Compare Identify and explain similarities represented in textual features in two or more texts
· Explanation of types of HSC style questions
Despite an individual’s desire to belong to a group or community, this is not always possible.
How do the texts you have studied represent the processes and results of belonging?
· Explanation of structure of a analytical response
Introduction or thesis statement
• Write one or two lead-in sentences which address the question and establish your thesis or argument.
• Identify the texts to be analysed, including the names of their composers.
• Outline how the texts to be discussed link to the question and your thesis.
· Explanation of language features of an analytical text
Narrative mode
First-person narrative is used when you are invited to give a personal response, for
example, in a speech or an opinion piece. First person is indicated by words such as me,
us, I, we, ours, etc.
Example:
At this stage, we begin to wonder.
· Plan of an analytical response including modeled responses
Introduction
Points for first body paragraph/ second body paragraph, and so on
- Topic sentence
- Main points
- Key quotes
Conclusion
Modeled response: Body paragraphs
‘Strictly Ballroom’ successfully creates humour by satirising aspects of the ballroom dancing world, showing the restrictions placed on the individual’s desire for self-expression and individuality. The opening scene highlights a fantasy world, depicting silhouettes of ballroom dancers gracefully dancing to the famous waltz, ‘The Blue Danube’, followed by images of the glitzy and glamorous dancers in their brilliant costumes. It is a world the audience is set up to admire: we would all would like to belong to it. Or would we? …
· Student writing activity based on explanations and modeled responses
If you have studied ‘Strictly Ballroom, use the modelled response as a guide to write a plan for the next three body paragraphs. On a separate piece of paper, write the paragraphs in full, using your notes.
Fourth body paragraph
Topic sentence:
Main points:
Key quotes:
Teaching the prescribed text
· Explanation on background information (context, purpose and audience)
Context The screenplay of Strictly Ballroom was written by Baz Luhrmann and Andrew Bovell. The film was directed by Baz Luhrmann, and was well received internationally when it was released in 1992. Since Strictly Ballroom, Baz Luhrmann has directed two other internationally successful films—Romeo + Juliet and Moulin Rouge—and, at time of print, was directing Australia. He is known for his artistic and innovative cinematic styles which blend film techniques from Hollywood musicals and dance films with more traditional techniques.
· Explanation of key terms (see above)
· Analysis of how the text relates to belonging
Rebellion, exclusion and true ‘belonging’
The film opens at the Waratah Championships for ballroom dancing where Scott Hastings dares to dance his own steps, dazzling the audience with his samba routine. Those who value tradition—mainly his mother, his dance coach Les Kendall, and Barry Fife—abhor his behaviour. They are united in their opposition to Scott’s rebellion and prevent him from exploring his individuality, because the traditional world of ballroom dancing gives them a sense of belonging, and they do not wish for this to change. Changing the established order is difficult, because people in power make the rules and are responsible for ensuring they are followed. Therefore when Scott dances his own steps he is disqualified and prevented from participating in the competition. He is excluded from the group and his sense of belonging is devastated.
· Students answer the question: How do you relate your prescribed text to belonging?
· Explanation of Text structure
Text structure
The film can be divided into four parts.
Part 1
The traditional values of the ballroom dancing world are established though the opening scene at the Waratah Championships for ballroom dancing where Scott Hastings dances his own steps during the samba. His partner, Liz Holt, walks out on him and Fran, an unlikely candidate, offers to be his dance partner. The love story is thus established between the handsome, competent dance champion and the plain, professionally untrained daughter of a Spanish migrant. She entices Scott to dance with her because she understands how he dances.
· Explanation of Characters
Scott Hastings: Scott is youthful, handsome and a champion dancer, and has many opportunities ahead of him. At first he is portrayed as arrogant, especially in his treatment of Fran. He is obviously a talented dancer, but is bored with the routine way he has been taught to dance. He challenges his mother and the Dance Federation when they insist he follows established conventions. He undergoes a transformation through his relationships with Fran and her family, as he learns the value of family spirit and dancing from the heart.
· Character activity – analyzing what quotes tell the reader about the character and belonging
Character quote
What the quote tells you about the character and belonging
Liz: I don’t think! I don’t give a shit about them, we lost!
Liz represents the dominant values of those who belong to the ballroom dancing world – follow established rules in order to win. Winning is the priority - not thinking for yourself or consideration of others.
· Explanation of Setting and modeled response
Scene: The living room of Scott’s home
Mood: This is a domestic setting which at first appears warm and inviting. Trophies are proudly displayed on the back wall. It becomes clear from Shirley’s outrage about her son’s unconventional steps at the Waratah Championships, however, that her priority is winning, not her son’s self-expression. This is further illustrated by the large number of trophies occupying the cabinet. Arguments take place in the living room, too, which shows that the family is not as close as the setting would suggest.
· Explanation and analysis of various language and visual techniques and modeled responses
Symbolism: Dancing shoes
How it relates to belonging: In the scene in which Rico challenges Scott to dance the paso doble, there are close-ups of Scott’s shoes while he dances. When Ya Ya asks him to show her where he feels the rhythm, the camera focuses on Scott’s shoes. The viewer becomes aware that Scott’s motivation to dance comes from learning the intricacies of making the steps, which is what has made him belong in the rigid ballroom dancing world. When Ya Ya taps his chest to show him where the rhythm should come from, we understand that he has a lot to learn from Spanish culture. Dancing shoes are also shown in close-up when Scott dances, especially when he dances his own way, illustrating his freedom and individual expression, and his rebellion against a restrictive type of ‘belonging’.
· Key scene analysis
To gain a better understanding of how language and visual techniques work together to create meaning, it is a good idea to analyse a few key scenes from the text.
Activity
Make notes about a key scene in Strictly Ballroom, taking into account:
• film techniques and dialogue
• examples of the techniques from the text
• analysis of how these examples relate to belonging.
Then write a full analysis of the scene and its techniques, and their relation to belonging.
Modeled response
Many scenes in ‘Strictly Ballroom’ represent the ideas of the true spirit of love, family and belonging, in contrast to the false values and superficiality of belonging to the ballroom dancing world. One key scene is when Scott goes to the Toledo Milk Bar to ask Fran to dance with him at the Pan Pacific Grand Prix. Fran’s father challenges Scott to dance the paso doble, and they move to the backyard where chairs are askew, streamers are falling down and colourful lanterns hang from the roof. The lighting is low-key and the atmosphere is romantic, warm and inviting. In this environment, Scott is ridiculed for not dancing from the heart. Close-ups of people laughing are juxtaposed with long shots of Fran and Scott dancing, showing that the onlookers are laughing at the way he dances.
Practical Issues
Examination Paper
- A full emanation paper is included in the book with sample questions, belonging texts, question rubrics, marking guidelines and modelled responses.
Marking guidelines for Section I
Text 1: Cartoon
a i What comment is the composer making about depression in this cartoon?
(1 mark)
Criteria
Marks
Comments on or gives an opinion about what the composer is saying about depression
1
Possible answers
You can quote directly from the cartoon, or paraphrase (write in your own words).
• One in four people suffer from depression.
• People are unaware of other people suffering from depression.
• The news is what causes depression.
Appropriateness of each text for student skills, abilities and interests - a suggestion
The prescribed texts are:
• The Joy Luck Club by Amy Tan (prose fiction)
(Recommendation: female audience and probably advanced class.)
• The Namesake by Jhumpa Lahiri (prose fiction)
(Recommendation: male/female audience and probably an advanced class)
• Great Expectations by Charles Dickens (prose fiction)
(Recommendation: male/female audience and definitely an advanced class)
• Heat and Dust by Ruth Prawer Jhabvala (prose fiction)
(Recommendation: male/female audience and probably a standard class)
• Swallow the Air by Tara June Winch (prose fiction)
(Recommendation: male/female audience and an advanced or standard class)
• Romulus, My Father by Raimond Gaita (non fiction)
(Recommendation: male/female audience and probably an advanced class)
• The Crucible by Arthur Miller (drama)
(Recommendation: male/female audience and an advanced or standard class)
• Rainbow’s End by Jane Harrison (drama)
(Recommendation: male/female audience and probably a standard class)
• Strictly Ballroom by Baz Luhrmann (film)
(Recommendation: male/female audience and probably a standard class)
• Ten Canoes by Rolf de Heer (film)
(Recommendation: male/female audience and probably an advanced or standard class)
• As You Like It by William Shakespeare (Shakespeare)
(Recommendation: male/female audience and probably a standard class)
• Immigrant Chronicle by Peter Skrzynecki (poetry)
(Recommendation: male/female audience and probably an advanced class)
• Selected Poems of Emily Dickinson by Emily Dickinson (poetry)
(Recommendation: male/female audience and probably an advanced class)
• The Simple Gift by Steven Herrick (poetry).
(Recommendation: male/female audience and probably a standard class)
Related material
Where to find appropriate material
- internet/google
- newspapers/magazines
- education textbooks
- own knowledge
- from past Area of Study HSC papers and resources
Related texts in the text book
- Visual text – Extract from ‘The Arrival’, by Shaun Tan
- Essay - Extract from ‘Dreams beyond the quarter-acre’, by Hugh Mackay (The Sydney Morning Herald, Weekend Edition February 23-24, 2008, p34)
- Poem - Muslim Woman, Carlton, by John Mateer
- Short story – Extract from ‘Slow Cycle’, by Nerida Wayland
- Visual text – Gety image of boy holding a cigarette
- Visual text – Lord of the Rings by Peter Jackson
- Visual text - Shaun Tan’s The Red Tree
- Visual text – Leunig cartoon
- Reflective journal extract by Sorell Wilby
- The Redfern Speech by Paul Keating
- Poem by Nanushka
- Poem - Urban Black by Lionel Fogart,y 1995
- Quotes from http://quotes.zaadz.com/topics/belonging
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